Despite destroying the seven-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback during Netflix’s Greatest Roast of All Time: Tom Brady, Glaser still had more jokes up her sleeve.
Nikki Glaser was one of the favorites who took to the stage at Netflix’s Greatest Roast of All Time and destroyed Tom Brady — but it turns out she still had more to give.
From jokes about his divorce from Gisele Bündchen and the model’s reported romance with Jiu-Jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente, it seemed like nothing off limits for the comedian.
However, while on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show, Glaser revealed some off the Brady jokes she cut from her set.
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“Tom, I love your work — that you’ve done on your face,” read Glaser. “Seriously, slow down. What is happening with your cheeks? You look like a Ken doll that was microwaved. You love deflating things, so stop.”
There was also a joke she cut regarding Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE, which is a disease caused by repeated concussions that affect many football players.
“It’s really cool all the proceeds are going to CTE research and the NFL’s coordinated effort to cover it up,” Glaser told Stern. “People don’t know, but it costs millions to murder those doctors that know the truth. These guys really f–king damage their bodies and brains all for the sake of men hugging each other in a Buffalo Wild Wings.”
She also said the comedians all “collectively just decided” to keep his kids out of it, “because they didn’t ask for that.”
“So I couldn’t say, ‘Tom, hopefully we make out at the after-party. You can pretend I’m your son,'” she then shared. “You know, the reference to him kissing his son. My dad kissed me on the lips as a kid and throughout my adulthood, so I really related to that and never judged it any way, other than I thought it was a cute moment that we all took too seriously.”
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Despite leaving the above jokes out, Glaser did not hold back when she hit the podium, making quite the joke about Brady leaving his then-pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan in 2006.
“Tom, you’re the best to ever play for too long. You retired, then you came back and then you retired again, I get it, it’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend it’s tough,” the standup comedian and reality TV host quipped on the roast, which was held in the Kia Forum in Inglewood, California on Sunday.
“Hey, to be fair, he didn’t know she was pregnant, he just thought she was getting fat,” she added. “Tom hates fat. Do you know about his diet program? If you follow it exactly as he does, you too can lose your family. You can lose so much family. It works.”
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As for the joke about at his divorce from Bundchen and the model’s rumored romance with jujitsu instructor Valente, Glaser said: “You have seven rings. Well, eight now that Gisele gave her back.”
“The only thing dumber than you saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, You should try jujitsu,'” she added.
Kevin Hart, Jeff Ross, Bill Belichick, Will Ferrell, Ben Affleck, Kim Kardashian and more also took to the stage to mock the seven-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback — who was a very good sport.
See pictures from the evening roasting Tom Brady below.
