The Bachelorette Recap Season 19, Episode 4: Contestant’s Despicably Selfish Move

It’s about to be a huge part of the story if next week’s episode plays out the way it’s supposed to. And it was a factor this week in a tangential way. But mostly, it seems like poor Rachel is just having a harder time feeling validated by her guys and feeling wanted.

In her defense, though, she was flatly rejected by three guys at the last Rose Ceremony, with them telling her they’d rather take their chances with Gabby. No one rejected Gabby’s Roses. When you pit two Bachelorettes together side by side, even if they’re friends there’s going to be some comparing going on.

And there’s no way to spin that evening into something that isn’t going to leave Rachel hurt and questioning why more guys are into Gabby than her, and why no one rejected Gabby when three guys rejected her. That experience, too, is going to leave her a little raw and vulnerable for a little bit.

Some of those residual emotions certainly played out this week in a seemingly innocent moment that reinforced her insecurities. And then, things started to genuinely get ugly — or at least that ugliness was exposed. The hard thing right now is that all of these negatives seem to be happening around Rachel … and it’s not over yet.

In a fun variation this season, it looks like the whole operation has shifted to a luxurious Virgin cruise ship sailing around Europe. Rather than jetting all around the world, the contestants and Bachelorettes will simply cruise around the continent and stop in at some of the coolest destinations around.

Their first stop was Paris where most of the guys got to check out their separate sweets (one for Gabby’s Guys and one for Rachel’s … Rats? No, that’s no good … Rascals?) but two of them got to enjoy one-on-one explorations of the city on the arms of this season’s lovely ladies.

Gabby chose the extremely quiet and reserved Jason because she felt a connection with him and really needed to see if it was possible to go deeper with him. Rachel was needing to feel validated again, so she leaned on her First Impression Rose recipient, Tino, who definitely came through.

The two had a lot of fun on the date, exploring the city and even learning to make crepes. Tino easily scored the One-on-One Date Rose. That left Jason, who was more of a question mark.

The editors even had fun with how long he’s willing to sit in silence. But during the evening portion, he opened up about how therapy has been helping him heal from some of his early life insecurities.

That was something Gabby, who’s felt she may be too broken for anyone, could connect with. She appreciated that he was a man who understood and valued therapy. And his willingness to open up about it was enough to score her Rose.

We’ve seen this exact type of scenario play out in previous Group Dates, where the guys seem to forget that there’s a girl there that all of this is supposed to be about. Only it wasn’t Gabby’s Guys who fell into this trap.

As a bonus treat, and what she was hoping would be an additional opportunity to get some time with them, Rachel invited her guys to Gabby’s Group Date to watch. But her intentions backfired spectacularly.

The date was centered around a boxing ring. The guys had to explain why they felt they were a good match for Gabby and then they had to duke it out with one another, with only one guy winning the evening portion of that date and a shot at a Rose.

Once again, Nate impressed us more than anyone else because he truly seems to be laser-focused on Gabby. The fact that he shared little details about her mannerisms he found endearing shows just how much he’s watching her.

And that was the rub for Rachel. While she was hoping the guys would use this opportunity to get time with her — because time is the currency on which this show runs — they didn’t even make eye contact with her. Even Tino, after a great date, didn’t look over.

She basically sat there next to Gabby completely ignored as the guys were enthralled with the fights in the ring. They were under no obligation to talk to her, and maybe they were confused about the social protocols of this. But later, they even lamented how long it had been since they’d seen her — and she was just there!

We have to give credit again to the editors because they effectively turned Gabby’s Group Date into background noise for Rachel’s internal drama and her being ignored. From a drama standpoint, it makes perfect sense as Gabby’s date was going swimmingly.

After her high with Tino, Rachel couldn’t take this low, so she basically confronted her guys the night before her Group Date and lambasted them for ignoring her and making her feel unseen after such a rough Rose Ceremony.

As for Gabby, Spencer scored the date and ultimately her Group Date Rose after an evening of laughs, smiles and lots of kissing. We told you her journey is in smooth waters right now.

While a lot of Rachel’s guys might have been happy to have missed out on the chance to smack each other around, they may have been rethinking that after they got to see what they were going to do. She took them to a couple who were experts in romance.

Here we learned that theses guys have no idea how to flirt with someone as we saw a weird chokehold, some kind of panther crawl and — it has us wondering if this is why all these guys are still single.

It didn’t get better when they had to show off their French kissing technique on their own hands or Rachel had to smell their armpits because pheromones. Honestly, we’d like to go back to just watching the French couple kissing awkwardly for a very long time like when the guys first walked in.

At the end of the session, though, the guys were tasked with writing poems for Rachel. As it turns out, Tyler had written one the night before after she chastised him, which she found really meaningful and touching. In part because of this, Tyler got the evening portion of her date and the Rose.

Rachel was feeling good again. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last.

A thread throughout the episode was really a continuation of his character we’ve seen through much of the season. Even before they left Los Angeles, Hayden was trashing both Rachel and Gabby.

Remember, he’s the one who left Gabby in tears after he called her “rough around the edges” and said their values didn’t align. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong there, and said so with some very vulgar language, even going so far as to drop the b-word in reference to Gabby.

He then got even more vulgar with some of the guys, openly comparing the breasts of his ex to both Gabby and Rachel, saying that the Bachelorettes “don’t hold a candle to her,” and that he can’t see why any guy on the show would want to marry them.

At this point, we’re asking ourselves, why is he here? What is he doing? But he stuck with it for a trip to France where he continued to be kind of snotty and demanding.

After opening up to Rachel about his dying dog, Tino interrupted their chat. Rachel asked if he was okay, and then she allowed Tino to take her away. This, however, was unacceptable to Hayden. What she should have done was tell Tino to give them a few more minutes.

Never mind that she did check in with him before accepting Tino’s invitation. And Hayden proceeded to tell all the guys about this, going again so far as to say he can’t see Rachel as his person after that. While he was doing this, Meatball was filling Rachel in on the rest.

If you’ll recall, Meatball rejected Rachel’s Rose last week, too, because he’d had no time with her and felt a stronger connection to Gabby. That episode ended with him seeking a second chance from Rachel, and she gave it to him.

So he returned the favor by being honest with her about Hayden. Well, when she confronted Hayden he thought it was about how disrespectful she was about the dog and that he was talking about it.

He then proceeded to deny all of the allegations that are on video and maintain an aloof and condescending tone throughout the entire confrontation until she finally walked him out. Once again, Rachel’s high from the Group Date came crashing down.

We thought Hayden was the lowest we could see from a contestant this season, but we had no idea. Poor Rachel had another troublemaker in his camp, but this one was dealing with more of an internal struggle.

After accepting Rachel’s Rose, Logan started to realize he thought he had more feelings for Gabby he wanted to explore. He’d been making out and exploring things more aggressively with both women more than anyone else before they divided the House.

It got so real for Logan that after the Group Date with Rachel, he said it just solidified to him that his heart just isn’t into this with Rachel at all. Instead, he’s got to talk to Gabby. Now, he didn’t say he would tell Rachel first, he said he’d talk to Gabby. That should have been our first warning sign.

He even went so far as to talk to Jesse, who reminded him that by accepting Rachel’s Rose, he’d agreed to exclusively date her. But that didn’t matter. So Logan decided he would steal time with Gabby at the Cocktail party that night to lay out his truth.

Then all Hayden broke loose … and the Cocktail Party was abruptly canceled. We’ll never know how Logan would have handled those conversations. But we do know what he did instead.

At the Rose Ceremony and by this point adamantly certain that he wasn’t interested in continuing with Rachel and needed to talk to Gabby to see if she would take him, Logan was the last guy called down by Rachel.

When she asked if he would accept her Rose, he said yes.

Unbelievably selfish. Jordan was eliminated and Logan doesn’t even want to continue dating Rachel. Instead, he said he said yes to stay so he could see Gabby again. How is that not disgusting. We get the desperation, but the disrespect to Rachel and her journey takes it beyond self-interest and selfishness.

He’s standing there toasting to moving forward with Rachel when he has no interest in doing that. He’s a wolf in the hen house pretending to be something he’s not, and clearly she’s interested in him.

She apologized for them not getting time this week but promised him time next week. She wants to see if it will work and he’s using her feelings for him to try and get with her friend. Gross.

• “I used the words ‘rough around the edges’ … but I gave context around it.” –Hayden (about Gabby)
• “That’s kind of rough, though, bro.” –Nate
• ‘Gabby’s the one that said ‘rough around the edges.’ Twice. And I used that word to describe her and that’s what they threw back into my face.” –Hayden (to Meatball)
• “I don’t think I said anything wrong, to be honest with you. My dumb ass uses the same verbiage that Gabby uses to describe herself and she f—ing didn’t like that. Well, b—-, maybe you shouldn’t use that f—ing word to describe yourself, then.” –Hayden
• “I’ve been comparing my ex to this– They don’t hold a candle to her … I don’t see how any guy in here could be like, ‘I’m f—ing marrying these girls.'” –Hayden (about Gabby and Rachel)
• “In that moment, I’m like, ‘No one wants to date me. Why am I here?'” –Rachel (to Gabby about Rose Ceremony rejections)
• “I have a huge fear that the men in my group might not even be interested in me.” –Rachel
• “I didn’t think you’d like me as much as you do right now.” –Tino (to Rachel)
• “I don’t like you.” –Rachel (teasing)
• “Well then I’m gonna keep working on it, so good luck.” –Tino
• “I … hope today that he could try in his own way to break out of his shell a little more.” –Gabby (about Jason)
• “Obviously, I didn’t wear the right hairstyle to look good in a beret. I look like a bald baby, that queen from ‘Snow White,’ a chef– anything but good.” –Gabby
• “She’s the most stunning girl I’ve ever got to spend time with and I don’t ever want her to not be happy.” –Tino (about Rachel after her tough last week)
• “You make the rainy days in Paris–” –Jason (to Gabby)
• “More rainy.” –Gabby
• “Gabs, do you have to go to the bathroom?” –Rachel (not so subtly trying to get the girls away from the boys to talk)
• “I really do think I was meant to find this girl and make her happy forever. So, it’s like, falling in love with Rachel is coming faster than I could have ever imagined.” –Tino
• “He’s just so amazing. I think I’m definitely going to fall in love with Tino.” –Rachel
• “I would look at my friends … and feel like I wasn’t good enough, in a way.” –Jason
• “It’s really rare to meet a man who appreciates therapy. Because I feel like you understand. So when Hayden was like, ‘You’re rough around the edges,’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, to you I am because you’re a punk-a– b—-.” –Gabby (to Jason)
• “My guys are so aggro, not one of them is looking at me.” –Rachel (about her guys watching Gabby’s group date)
• “I pay attention to everything and that’s something I will continue to do.” –Nate (to Gabby)
• “He pays attention to you and he notices those little things. That’s big.” –Rachel (to Gabby)
• “It’s the first time I’ve seen Gabby in a while. It definitely brought up some old feelings. I’m worried that I find myself still kind of looking to the other side.” –Logan (wondering if he chose wrong accepting Rachel’s rose)
• “I don’t know why I feel more insecure, more desperate on the side of being the Bachelorette than I did on the side of being a contestant on Clayton’s season. Truly, he made me feel more wanted than these guys.” –Rachel
• “As you can see, I’m pretty upset. I think I went through a lot at the last Rose Ceremony and I was really looking forward to the next time I saw you guys. You did accept my rose, you did tell me you want to be here, and I do want you all here. But you really made me feel hurt and unseen. I want you guys to want to be here for me and I didn’t feel that at all tonight. I feel like I was trying so hard to just make eye contact with someone and no one was looking at me, no one came over.” –Rachel
• “There was this French couple and they just kept making out. We just stood there like, ‘Do they know we’re here?'” –Zach (at Rachel’s Group Date)
• “So the next task was the armpit smelling. What the hell was that?” –Zach (at Rachel’s Group Date — supposed to be about pheromones)
• “I’m a little bit torn at this moment. I’ve gotten to know Rachel as this wonderful person, but I didn’t feel a strong spark and connection. And I walk away from the Group Date thinking about Gabby.” –Logan (after Rachel’s Group Date)
• “I want you to know that when you walk into a room, you’re the only person that I see.” –Tyler (to Rachel — we won’t talk about Gabby’s Group Date fiasco)
• “You accepted the Rose from Rachel at the last Rose Ceremony knowing that you were then expected to date her and only her.” –Jesse (to Logan)
• “I’ve loved getting to know her. But I don’t see how I can move forward without bringing it up in some way … I need to talk to Gabby.” –Logan (he’s more interested in Gabby)
• “It’s very tough to see Rachel’s response to that. What I would have expected from Rachel is, ‘Tino, give me a minute. Let me finish this conversation.’ Not get up quicker than she sat down.” –Hayden (after sharing with Rachel that is dog was dying before Tino interrupted)
• “It’s very difficult for me to feel okay walking out of that conversation and feel comfortable saying that’s the person for me.” –Hayden (to Meatball about Rachel)
• “Do you know why I’m talking to you right now?” –Rachel (to Hayden after Meatball shares all the awful things he’s said about her and Gabby)
• “No, Rachel, I don’t.” –Hayden
• “You don’t know?” –Rachel
• “I’m assuming it’s about Rambo.” –Hayden
• “About the dog?” –Rachel
• “It’s just really hard because I think this is working for Gabby.” –Rachel (again frustrated with the process)
• “I don’t know exactly what I’m gonna do. Should I keep accepting Roses, pretending everything’s cool when it’s not.” –Logan (didn’t get a chance to reveal he’d switched interest from Rachel to Gabby
• “This is going to be a disaster. The longer I wait, the more damage will be done.” –Logan (during Rose Ceremony)
• “Logan, will you accept this Rose?” –Rachel
• “Yes.” –Logan
• “She gave me a Rose, and I feel like the bad guy. I feel selfish. But I would be a fool not to accept a Rose if it means I get to talk with Gabby. There’s still hope, there’s still time. I’m gonna get it all out there.” –Logan