Demi Lovato has revealed that the reason they re-adopted she/her pronouns in 2022 was because educating people on they/them pronouns became “absolutely exhausting.”
In a new interview with GQ Hype Spain, the 30-year-old singer, songwriter, and actor explained that they are comfortable with either she/her or they/them, but that using solely they/them grew to be too much of a burden at times. “I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns,” they said. “It was absolutely exhausting. And that is one of the reasons that have led me to also feel comfortable with the feminine pronoun.”
Since first coming out as non-binary in 2021, Lovato has been one of many artists championing freedom of gender expression, but prevailing cultural norms make it an uphill battle. Beyond the obvious stressors of fame in a situation like that, Lovato explained that even everyday instances of heteronormativity can be psychologically harmful.
“I face this every day,” they said. “For example, in public toilets… I would feel more comfortable in a genderless bathroom. It also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents where you have to specify your gender. You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me. I see myself conditioned to choose a woman because there [aren’t other options]. I think this has to change. Hopefully with time there will be more options.”
To this end, Lovato’s decision to re-adopt she/her brings to light an interesting dynamic… on one hand, artists with public platforms have a unique ability to influence public opinion. On the other hand, that’s a lot of weight to put on a person’s shoulders, especially when just everyday life on its own can be emotionally taxing. Speaking to this, Lovato explained that re-adopting she/her doesn’t mean that their advocacy work will end any time soon.
“I just got tired,” they said of the educating that they were doing. “But for that very reason I know that it is important to continue spreading the word.”
Last year, Lovato released HOLY FVCK, an intimate record that harkened back to their pop-punk roots. With songs like “29” and “DEAD FRIENDS,” the album tackled a variety of topics, ranging from grooming to gender norms, drug overdoses, the death of Mac Miller, and more. Check out Consequence’s review of the HOLY FVCK live show, and read our rundown of Lovato’s 10 essential tracks.