I’d been chosen to play the bear because, before the Masturbating Bear, I was already playing bears on the show. My fellow writer Brian McCann used to do this bit where he was a loser — like “Loser on the Beach” and “Loser in a Hot Air Balloon” — and every time it ended with him being attacked by a bear. That was always me playing the bear; so I did it for this one, too. Who knew it would become this industry?
After the first appearance of the Masturbating Bear, NBC sent us a note saying, “Haha, very funny, but don’t do it again.” According to my notes, though, we did it again just two weeks later. And as the bear got established, we used him everywhere and in every bit. It was a very fun crutch.
The Masturbating Bear Gets His Groove On
In the early days of the Masturbating Bear, I always came out in shackles, and I had two handlers played by Brian Reich and Mike Sweeney, who would later become the head writer. In the bits, I’d always break free of the shackles and begin masturbating while the two handlers would zap me with cattle prods. The character is very identified with the music “Sabre Dance,” but early on, there was no music. It was very quiet, and you just heard the cattle prods.