If you love rapid fire jokes, you need Myq Kaplan in your life.
“I’m Jewish. I’m not uber-Jewish. Like I will use German to describe how Jewish I am.”
Bo Burnham
Netflix
Oh THAT’S how it works.
“For 15 cents a day you can feed an African. They eat pennies.”
Phyllis Diller
Wikimedia Commons Author: Allan Warren
Marry a young blind man if possible.
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight”
Norm Macdonald
Conaco
Who came up with this abbreviation?
“ID is a strange abbreviation. I is short for I, and D is short for dentification.”
Richard Pryor
Broadway Video
I think there’s been some sort of mistake…
“I woke up in an ambulance. And it wasn’t nothing but white people staring at me. I said, Ain’t this a b***h. I done died and wound up in the wrong muthaf****g heaven.”
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Top Image: Viacom