As Polygon’s resident Cars stan, it was my duty — nay, my privilege — to dive into the new Cars Disney Plus series.
In addition to the three movies, there has been a number of Cars shorts that debuted on television, alongside home media or with theatrical releases. There are also the Planes movies, which technically happen in the Cars universe, but aren’t made by Pixar. The Cars universe is ever growing and expanding, and each new revelation opens up a million follow-ups — for instance, because there is airport security, does that mean Cars 9/11 happened? Since Sarge is a 1942 Willys Army Jeep, does that mean World War II occurred? There is a Car Pope, so does that mean there was a Car Jesus?
It’s a lot. And it’s a delight. As race car Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) and rusty tow truck Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) set off on a cross-country road trip for Mater’s sister’s wedding, Cars on the Road continues this grand tradition of just teasing absolutely bonkers reveals about the greater world.
[Ed. note: This ranking contains spoilers for Cars on the Road — read at your own risk!]
10. Cars get gas
Image: Pixar
As in, they can fart and burp and pass gas. This isn’t super groundbreaking, all things considered (especially because they’ve burped a bit before). But Mater also mentions that he gets something called the backfires in the last episode, when he finally meets his sister and gets nervous and starts to involuntarily sputter out of his exhaust pipe. Is this the Cars version of needing to shit when you get anxious? That could imply that the cars in Cars have more elaborate nervous and endocrine systems, resulting in psychosomatic symptoms. Much to consider.
9. Cars drink champagne
Image: Pixar
We know that a smattering of “real” food exists in the Cars universe. In Cars 2, Mater tries some wasabi because he mistakes it for pistachio ice cream, for instance. But now we know that they open a bottle of something bubbly — probably champagne — at weddings! Good for them. But what we still don’t know is if cars get drunk.
8. “Brakelight Pictures” exists
Image: Pixar
In the 7th episode, Mater and Lightning wander onto a movie set belonging to Brakelight Pictures. This is a clear spoof on Searchlight Pictures, down to the logo. If this company exists, does it mean it belongs to 20th Century Studios, and was thus acquired by in-universe Disney? By extension, does that mean Pixar exists? And by extension, does this mean that Cars-universe Pixar made Cars?! Or is it called Humans?
7. Cryptids are a part of the Cars world
Image: Pixar
Episode 4 sees Mater and Lightning meeting a gang of cryptid hunters. They reveal that they search for all sorts of weird creatures, including the chupacabra, Mothman, and Bigfoot. Yes, Bigfoot and Mothman. There are a lot of layers here. For one, the chupacabra feasts on goats, which means that there must be some goat equivalent in the Cars universe (tractors are cow-like, so not far off?). Mothman implies the existence of moths and men, though perhaps at this point in the Cars world they just interchangeably refer to male cars as men. And finally, does the fact that it’s Bigfoot and not Bigwheel mean that wheels and feet are the same thing? If a car in Cars wore pants would they wear it like THIS or like THIS?
Anyway, as it turns out, the creature that these cars think is Bigfoot is actually a reclusive monster truck named Ivy (Quinta Brunson), who left her life in the spotlight to live a solitary life in the woods. Which brings us to the next point…
6. Monster truck rallies are fucked up in this world
Image: Pixar
Ivy talks about the toll being a monster truck took on her and how she was just expected to smash cars. The show cuts to a flashback where she is making a grand leap off a ramp, about to smash a car. The small car looks helplessly up at her, right before she crushes it.
Monster truck rallies are basically public executions, apparently. And everyone is just… OK with this.
5. When cars get emptied, they die
Image: Pixar
We’re in a morbid area of this ranking and somehow it only gets weirder from here, so buckle up.
Later in that same episode, Lightning, Mater, and Ivy team up to scare off the cryptid hunters. They stage a fake alien abduction, pretending to tie Mater up and “empty” him. Even though he’s pretending, he makes a big show like he’s in great pain, basically being tortured to death. This really freaks out the cryptid hunters.
Yes, death exists in the Cars universe — we know that because Doc Hudson (Paul Newman), Lightning’s racing mentor, died sometime before the events of Cars 3. But this casts a new light on just how many different and horrific ways cars can die. We know in Cars 2, a secret agent was viciously heated to death, while other cars blew up (the body count in that movie is high). But is there a great beyond for cars? Do they cross over a rainbow highway? Go to the great manufacturer’s plant in the sky?
4. There’s a car Grim Reaper
Image: Pixar
We might not know the details of the car afterlife, but we do know that when cars are about to die, a Grim Reaper figure fetches them. In the third episode, Mater does some very risky racing that pushes the limits of his capabilities and, as he is about to crash, he has a near-death experience. As he floats up above his body (implying a car soul???), he is greeted by a winged black car (Kathy Holly), who looks like a hearse. She introduces herself as the “Speed Demon” — or at least that’s the name the locals call her. With her chrome wings and black paint, she’s basically the Cars equivalent of the Angel of Death or the Grim Reaper.
Don’t worry — Mater doesn’t actually die. He annoys her so much that she decides it’s not worth it.
3. There are car ghosts
Image: Pixar
There’s car death, so it only makes sense that there are car ghosts, right? The second episode, which is basically a big The Shining homage, sees McQueen lost in the hallways of a creepy hotel, haunted by various ghosts (including two twin cars who just want to play). At first it seems like it could just be a nightmare and all in Lightning’s head, but the episode ends with the hotel clerk scolding the ghost for messing with the guests again. So Bigfoot is still an unconfirmed myth in the Cars world, but yes, ghosts exist.
2. There were car dinosaurs
Image: Pixar
Ghosts are fine and dandy, but the revelation that absolutely just blows (almost) everything out of the water happens in the very first episode: There were car dinosaurs.
CAR DINOSAURS! McQueen and Mater come upon a roadside dinosaur park, and while driving around, Lightning reveals that he’s actually a bit of a dinosaur geek. Not only were there dinosaurs (who have wheels, but for some reason use them like feet, at least in Mater’s imagination), but there are also fossils. Phrases like “first grazing dino vans” and “plains-dwelling sedans in the region” further complicate the Cars universe lore. Also, they were all wiped out by an asteroid some 50 million years ago.
Riddle me this — if cars use gas, and gas is fossil fuels made from, well, fossilized organic matter, and in the Cars universe, cars don’t just use gas, they eat it… does that mean the cars in Cars are… eating what remains of their ancestors? Is it like eating a mummy or more like eating a mammoth?
This all happens in the first episode, but instead of interrogating any of this, it’s more about Mater actually having a fun time learning things. And honestly, it’s probably for the better that they don’t unpack this chaotic mess.
1. Mater comes from a rich family
Image: Pixar
We spent a lot of time mulling over car death, but honestly the bigger elephant in the room is the fact that cars have relatives — and birth order and families and HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The entire show is set up as a road trip that Lightning and Mater make to see Mater’s sister for her wedding (and Mater doesn’t ask his girlfriend, Holley Shiftwell, along, because at this point Pixar is ignoring the underrated Cars 2). It’s revealed that Mater’s family is actually really rich and made up of Southern socialites. Mater’s sister, Mato (get it… like… to-mahto…) is marrying Cruz Ramirez from Cars 3’s brother — so there’s another family connection!
It is unlikely that Pixar will go as far as Shrek 2 did and really dive into the mechanics of what happens when two cars want to start a family. Instead, it’s left to our imaginations, and perhaps some creative people on the internet can answer that.
Cars on the Road is now streaming on Disney Plus.