Living in the modern world is supposed to come with some guarantee of safety, at least for those of us in stable countries. Centrally important in that is a somewhat trustworthy guarantee that there aren’t going to be explosions near us in our day-to-day life. After all, isn’t that why I hand a massive slice of my yearly salary directly to the Defense Department?
Unfortunately, it’s time to remember that things don’t have to be designed to explode in order to do just that. Even worse, some of the things that can blow up are things you wouldn’t expect it from. Really, pumpkins? I thought you were a kind vegetable that made good pies.
Tempered Glass
A lot of the glass you’ll see used in things like furniture is tempered glass, which is superheated to increase its strength. That strength comes with specific weaknesses, though: the edges. Although the surface can take surprising amounts of force, small nicks and chips in the wrong place along the edge can cause the entire table to explode, either immediately or seemingly randomly in a shower of (thankfully fairly harmless) glass pebbles.
Baking Powder
In what feels like a seriously shortsighted distribution of ingredient names, baking soda and baking powder are easily confused. This is unfortunate, but not dangerous when baking. When putting out a fire, though, baking soda is recommended, as baking powder is flammable and combustible.
Coffee Creamer
Not the liquid ones, though that would be kind of awesome, and probably send me to my kitchen immediately for an impromptu science experiment. Given the right conditions, however, powdered non-dairy coffee creamer can set off a legitimate explosion. If you beef up and cause a cloud to float in the air, and that cloud gets a helping hand from an open flame, you might be suddenly standing in a very different part of your apartment.
Flour
Another dangerous powder, and one that you’re extremely likely to have knocked up a cloud or two of while cooking, is plain old white flour. Like with coffee creamer, a big cloud of flour poofing out of a dropped bag isn’t just a massive pain in the ass, it’s a genuine threat to your health.
Pumpkins
If you decide to leave an uncarved pumpkin out on your porch well into the winter months, and if it, by some grace of god, isn’t absolutely decimated by hungry squirrels, it may meet another fate: explosion. The water content inside can freeze and expand, leading to a pulpy little boom. This kills the pumpkin.
Old TVs and Computer Monitors
There aren’t many people or places still using cathode ray tube televisions (better known as CRT, even better known as “those huge old televisions”). This makes it less likely you’ll run into one, but if you do, you might decide to smash it for fun, being that it’s borderline useless obsolete technology. If you do manage to bust the screen, that’s right about when you’ll find out that the way these screens work is that there’s a vacuum established inside them. Meaning it will result in what is technically an implosion and not an explosion. Whatever you call it, it’s terrifying.
Canned Food
Back to your now slightly scarier pantry! If you’ve stockpiled plenty of canned goods in case of any impending doomsday, you’re already hoping they’ve all stayed botulism-free. But you can add a new twist to the mix, too: If canned food is infected with botulism, it can create gas build-up that will cause the can to explode, and release a lovely mixture of stink and botulism spores into your kitchen air.
Manholes
In many American cities, gas and electricity both run underground, which is fine as long as they don’t interact. Of course, it’s not like every sewer is in stellar condition, and if a gas build-up and a frayed electrical wire love each other very much, they make a little baby — in the form of an explosion that can blow a manhole cover that weighs around 100 pounds up to 50 feet in the air. Mazel tov!
Hot-Water Heaters
Here’s one that, in all honesty, you probably are aware of, but that your mind allows you to think about as little as possible for the sake of your continued mental health. That’s your hot-water heater, which, given that it’s constantly dealing with high levels of pressure and extremely hot water, is only a couple failsafes away from being a steam bomb.
Exploding Ants
There’s a species of ant in Borneo that, like the worst enemy in any zombie video game, employs a strategy of grabbing their target and then exploding. It’s not a particularly forceful explosion, but the yellow goo it produces is full of toxins. It also, apparently, smells like curry, which is officially off my list of dinner choices for tonight.