And now it’s Mimi Webb who, from memory, is a British singer-songwriter. She is known for her singles “Before I Go” and “Good Without”, the latter of which peaked at number eight on the UK Singles Chart. That’s all from memory, by the way, and not because I just Googled ‘Mimi Webb’ in a blind panic.
Oh, he’s doing a special little rap about the Queen. That’s nice. She’ll enjoy that.
Hey, fantastic, it’s Craig David now! And he’s wearing a sparkly tracksuit and singing a song that nobody seems to know. Backstage, Elbow weeps.
Oh, wait, he’s doing the Rewind Selecta one now and it might have elicited the biggest cheer of the night so far. This only reinforces my belief that the staunchest royalists all spent the year 2000 smashed on WKD and listening to Oxide and Neutrino.
I’m not judging Diversity’s set, but if Prince George was any more visibly bored his hair would catch fire.
This performance is basically History of Dance, but about songs from the 1960s onwards. It’s Pan’s People, I think, except with more ribbons and jumping.
Nope. One song and they’re off, to be replaced by some interpretive street dance. By ‘Ashley Banjo and Diversity’. I’m old enough to remember when Ashley Banjo and Diversity were just called Diversity. You’ve changed, Ashley Banjo. You’ve changed.
And now straight into Elbow, singing their anthem about being being hungover. They’re being backed by an enormous string section and a choir.
Are they going to do another song after this? Everyone else has done multiple songs, but this is Elbow’s only real breakout song. There is a danger of them trying to follow this up and the whole thing turning into an episode of Later with Jools Holland.
Jax Jones and his furry hat just shouted “Give it up for Her Majesty”, and then started to play the sort of song that sounds like it was specifically designed to be played during a spin class. Wait, now he’s playing a guitar next to a statue as well. Is this going to be the defining image of the night? God, I really hope so. I love looking at people playing guitar next to a statue.
Nandi Bushell, the young drummer for (I think) the Argos adverts, is also here. As is Mabel, a performer best known for wearing the sort of radioactive hazard sleeves most usually seen on people who work in nuclear power plants.
Aw, he’s wearing a fluffy top hat. It just goes to show, nobody is too cool to make an effort for the Queen.
After a brief interlude where Lee Mack made jokes about Partygate and Freddie Mercury, it’s time for Jax Jones; an artist I am definitely still young enough to recognise.
We are the Champions now. Incidentally, almost everyone in attendance is waving a miniature Union Jack.
I am wildly enjoying the cutaways to the royals in the audience, by the way. Prince George hasn’t quite fully developed the ability to look interested in things he’s being forced to watch against his will, and already looks bored out of his mind. We’ll make a liveblogger of you yet, young prince.
Having performed We Will Rock You, Harris + Hoole are now barging through Don’t Stop Me Now. Unfortunately there are no cutaways to Queen Elizabeth II doing air guitars with Garfield, so I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on this one.
And how exactly does Brian May plan to replicate the iconic rooftop performance of 20 years ago? He’s – brace yourself – standing quite near a statue. Above and beyond, Brian.
Ah, now it’s time for Queen + Adam Lambert, the Harris + Hoole of nostalgic rock acts. Unfortunately the song is only 30 seconds in, and the group have already been upstaged by Paddington Bear.
Wait, no, she’s tapping a teaspoon along to We Will Rock You. To entertain a CGI bear. It’s good. I like it. What’s happening?
We begin with a long shot of a butler carrying a pot of tea through Buckingham Palace so that – and this is real – the Queen can serve it to Paddington Bear. “Tea?” she asks him, before looking alternately startled and delighted. And then she reveals a handbag full of marmalade sandwiches, and it might be the best thing she’s ever done in her entire life?
There is applause coming from Buckingham Palace. This (hopefully) means that the concert is about to begin.
Princess Anne is already in attendance, sitting next to six vacant seats. Presumably these are reserved for more important members of her family. For those of you keeping count, Princess Anne is the member of the Royal Family most likely to hold your coat on a day out at Alton Towers.
Shirley Ballas is being interviewed now, and describing the Queen’s constant ‘cheeky grin’. I don’t want to be the one to tell her, but might she be confusing the Queen with one of Ant and Dec?
More arrivals! More great efforts!
And now testimonials to the Queen, from Dolly Parton, Barry Gibb, Michael Buble, Ginger Spice and several other celebrities whose kind words will go unseen because the Queen is almost definitely watching Mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle on Channel 5 right now.
Backstage, Roman Kemp is interviewing Queen. That is to say Queen + Adam Lambert. Which is to say Brian May, Adam Lambert and Colonel Sanders.
I hope you’re watching this on TV, by the way, because Kirsty Young is literally wearing a pearl knuckleduster. It’s quite the accessory – simultaneously sending the message that a) this is a respectful, prestigious event and b) Kirsty Young will eff you the hell up.
How does the BBC plan to fill this half-hour void? So far, with a montage of the Queen looking benignly indifferent at various celebrities. Frank Sinatra, Judi Dench, Lady Gaga, Dustin Hoffman, Craig David. The Queen has met all of them and, if this montage is any indication, recognised none of them.
Some of tonight’s talent have arrived and stood in front of a branded backdrop.
This is probably important: host Kirsty Young has pointed out that the actual concert doesn’t start for another half an hour, so I’m going to have to vamp wildly until then. Fans of reading descriptions of people wearing slightly too tight Union Jack T-shirts, this is going to be your Christmas.
OK then, here we go. The Platinum Party at the Palace is officially go. I literally haven’t watched a second of jubilee coverage so far, so I have no idea what to expect.
The crowds have gathered…
Of course, this sort of concert is tradition now. Twenty years ago, for the Queen’s golden jubilee, there was an enormous concert that featured Brian May playing his guitar on the roof of Buckingham Palace, Paul McCartney singing a version of Hey Jude that lasted, conservatively, for three full calendar months, and a moment backstage where Paul McCartney said something so condescending to Phil Collins that Phil Collins immediately developed a lifelong grudge.
And then, ten years ago, there was another concert for the Queen’s diamond jubilee, but the only really memorable thing that happened there was that Grace Jones demonstrated her proficiency at hula hooping. We can only hope that Diana Ross was watching this and took notes, because god knows how much we’d all like to see her singing Chain Reaction while simultaneously doing a Rubik’s Cube or whatever tonight.
While we wait for things to actually happen, it’s worth asking ourselves who this concert is actually for. It certainly isn’t for the Queen herself, since she got her big treat at the jubilee horse show a couple of weeks ago. And it probably isn’t for staunch music fans either, since this is effectively going to be three hours of already respectable acts at their most staid and reverent. But maybe it’s for the actual attendees. All in all, 22,000 people will be watching the concert in person, many of them key workers, volunteers and members of the armed forces. These people will all have the time of their lives tonight. It would be wonderful if some of that translated to television, but let’s wait and see.
Hello world, and welcome to The Guardian’s liveblog of the BBC’s Platinum Party at the Palace. That’s right, some people are singing on TV on a Saturday night, and thus The Guardian is legally mandated to liveblog it.
What is the BBC’s Platinum Party at the Palace? Glad you asked. It’s the pop culture centrepiece of the Queen’s platinum jubilee; an hours-long miniature Live Aid that takes place in a palace and, as far as I am aware, exists to raise money for no good causes. Instead, we’ll be treated to performances by Queen + Adam Lambert, Diana Ross, Nile Rodgers, Elbow, Duran Duran and, slightly bewilderingly, Hans Zimmer. It will be good clean fun, and lots of it, and you’re welcome.
The big question, of course, is whether or not the Queen herself will attend the concert. And the big answer seems to be ‘Are you actually kidding?’. Listen, the Queen is 96 years old and she’s already had quite a big weekend. She doesn’t want to stay up until 10.30pm to watch Elbow any more than you do. But, hey, perhaps a younger royal will be there instead. My money’s on Prince Edward, but what the hell do I know?
The show begins on BBC One at 7.30pm. Please, someone, watch it with me.
Queen, Diana Ross, Ella Eyre and George Ezra will be among the musicians performing at Buckingham Palace for the Platinum Party at the Palace concert this evening.
Alicia Keys, Adam Lambert and the Eurovision 2022 runner-up Sam Ryder will also perform at the two-and-a-half-hour event and there will be a specially recorded appearance from Elton John.
There will also be appearances by public figures including Sir David Attenborough, Emma Raducanu, David Beckham, Stephen Fry and Dame Julie Andrews.
More than 30 royals will gather for the musical extravaganza.
However, the Queen is not expected to attend, having missed some celebrations since appearing on the balcony at Buckingham Palace for her birthday event on Thursday.
You can follow all the action right here in our blog.