The Colbeard has come and gone over the years, and Stephen himself seems gravely dubious of those whiskery strangers whenever they come to visit. The fact that he’s clean-shaven now tells you how he feels about it. Maybe his ambivalence is due to poll results like these, based on the 2018 version of his face:
Spartina Productions
Technically, YES, BEARD was the winner, but 63% of the vote was split between hate responses like THAT’S NOT A BEARD and SECURITY, STOP THAT HOBO!
Related: Stephen Colbert’s ‘Fairview’: ‘South Park’ Minus The Heart (Or The Funny)
Conan O’Brien
Conaco
Conan’s Late Night Beard was essentially a middle finger to his former overlords at NBC, a protest growth after ending his tenure at the network. His new bosses at TBS demanded a shave before he started his new show in 2011, but “the next thing you know, we were taking publicity photos with the beard. And the next thing you know, we kept the beard.” Conan knew he’d lose the face fungus eventually, predicting it would fall out due to lack of testosterone.
Related: ‘The Simpsons’: How Does Conan O’Brien Rank As A Writer?
James Corden
CBS Studios
If we were Jimmy Fallon and being saddled with grief about beard patchiness, we’d point them in the direction of one James Corden and his Late Night Neckbeard. Of all the late-night hosts, Corden’s chin strap comes and goes in varying levels of full growth — but truth be told, those cheeks don’t seem to want to sprout.
Related: The Unlikely Lucky History of Carpool Karaoke
Dave Letterman
Netflix
The Unabomber of Late Night Beards. Letterman’s impressive Santa-floss brings to mind the lyrics of Broadway’s Hair: “A home for fleas, a hive for bees, a nest for birds,
there ain’t no words.” Why do we get the idea that Paul Schaffer might be hiding in there somewhere? The ultimate in “give no effs” facial hair.
Related: Chris Farley’s Gloriously Frantic 1996 ‘David Letterman’ Entrance Is Definitely A Mood
Trevor Noah
The soon-to-be ex-host of The Daily Show has somehow resisted the Late Night Beard mandate, despite showing up on Insta from time to time with some scruffy scruff.
Instagram/Trevor Noah
But as for sporting beardage full-time?
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Top image: Broadway Video