These “hortary names” were intended to be a “a thread tyed about the finger, to make us mindful of the errand we came into the world to do.” Which is why one of the most prominent English politicians of the 1650s was known by the truly sensational name of Praise-God Barebone. Sadly, Praise-God got a little carried away when he supposedly named his son Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebone. Unsurprisingly, the kid changed his name to “Nicholas Barbon” the first chance he got, although his enemies still called him “Damned Barbon” behind his back.
Preserved’s own name (it was apparently pronounced pre-ZER-ved) was a reference to remaining preserved from the evils of the world. But Preserved Fish wasn’t just going to stay on the shelf. The first chance he got he moved to New York and became a wealthy merchant trading in … whale oil? Come on man, you’ve got the perfect name for marketing a line of tinned anchovies, how do you find the one sea creature that the “Fish” branding doesn’t work for?
In any case, Fish soon diversified into shipping and stockbroking. By the early 1800s, he was one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the city, controlling the famously crooked Tammany Hall political organization with the help of other wealthy New Yorkers like Gideon Lee and Jonathan Coddington. Can you imagine finding yourself repressed by the corrupt rule of guys named Preserved Fish and Mr. Coddington? At some point you’d really have to start wondering whether you were living in some kind of poorly-conceived Shark Tale spinoff.
