What The Hell Is Going On In ‘Kingdom Hearts’ – Cracked.com | Articles

Sora takes a selfie with dead Olaf

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That probably doesn’t do a very good job of helping the player navigate a series that features time travel, simulated reality, clones, semi-clones, and using someone else as an avatar. Worse, it’s not even just the names of the games and the structure of the series making this impossible to comprehend. This thing is convoluted down to what you need in order to play it. Though the series had its start on the Playstation 2, the canonical entries are scattered around the Game Boy Advance, Mobile, Sony PSP, Nintendo 3DS, Internet browser, Playstation 3, and 4. You could skip them, but you’d be missing out on contrived but important story beats. Having your story divided between many platforms is a dumb decision storywise, but a straight-up reckless one when it comes to your fans. How many people can afford all those systems when most of your target audience relies solely on the income of a child?

Lastly, the series’ story is made even more bizarre by the immense amount of context Kingdom Hearts stills you’ll find scattered all over the Internet. It’s not uncommon to see a character talking about universe domination in the middle of the frame, and Goofy staring at the distance in the background. Don’t let that discourage you, because the reality is much dumber…

Square Enix, Disney

..goofier..

The party in a tight spot

Square Enix, Disney

.. and even creepier than that

Creepy Kingdom Hearts NPC

Square Enix, Disney

The good news in all this is that the Switch ports are apparently barely playable, so there you have the excuse you didn’t know you needed to go back to enjoying the much tighter storyline of Super Smash Bros.

Top Image: Square Enix, Disney

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