The Best Thing About Elden Ring Is Not Repairing My Dumb Weapon

The Best Thing About Elden Ring Is Not Repairing My Dumb Weapon

People love to discuss “realism” along with the aforementioned “immersiveness” in games, but we all know that what we really mean is “selective realism.” In Elden Ring, if you’re walking through a pool of poison and you roll, the poison gets all over your clothes and continues to infect you unless you use soap. That is sick. It informs how I play the game and adds a level to certain encounters, especially when the roll-dodge is an essential part of combat that has now become perilous if I’m fighting in certain environments. Weapon repair is the equivalent of thinking that it’s weird that Batman never pees during the movies.

You’re not making my sword dull, you’re making my whole experience dull. This is not exciting realism! Does anyone think the battle of Helm’s Deep would have been cooler and more immersive if Aragorn had been yelling “My sword is getting slightly duller and less effective! Guard me while I use a whetstone!” If my sword is imbued with the power of lightning and ghosts let’s just assume the enchanter threw a self-sharpening spell on there. It would be a courtesy, like when a website throws a sticker in with your order.

So, from the deepest part of my heart, thank you Elden Ring. I award you 10/10 and 100/100 durability.

Top Image: FromSoftware

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

You’ll get One Cracked Fact plus the links to the latest from Cracked in your inbox, every day! Sign up here!

Share This Article