Here’s what the “rumors” say: Tom Cruise was about to embark on a press tour for Mission: Impossible 3 for Paramount. Paramount was owned by Viacom, the same company that owned Comedy Central. Some little birdies whispered that Cruise refused to do publicity for the big-budget flick unless Comedy Central pushed pause on the rerun.
And that’s just what Comedy Central did, substituting the classic “Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls” instead. Of course, Parker and Stone fired back in a hilariously hyperbolic press release:
“So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”
The message was signed “Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.”
The Ugly: Parker and Stone at the 72nd Academy Awards
CNN
How much cleavage is too much cleavage?
Actually, we think the fellas look lovely, even though they were tripping balls. Parker and Stone, on hand because “Blame Canada” from the South Park movie was nominated for Best Song, decided to drop acid before the ceremony. That partially explains why they arrived dressed like Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow.
The two walked the red carpet, answering every single entertainment reporter’s question with the same answer:
“It’s a magical night tonight.”
The night’s ugliest moment? Parker and Stone had to come down from their high during an overly long Oscars ceremony with no statuette to take home for their trouble. “Losing just makes it horrible,” said Parker. “It’s terrible to lose to Phil Collins especially.”
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Top image: Paramount +