Mom Refuses to Get Daughter Gift for 13th Birthday — Internet Divided Over Her Reason Why

In the story, which was posted to Reddit’s anonymous AITA (Am I the A-hole?) forum, the OP (a.k.a. the “original poster”) recalled how her plans for her daughter’s milestone 13th birthday backfired, before explaining why she ultimately decided against getting the teen a present.

Though her post earned an official “Not the A-hole” label, commenters appeared pretty divided after learning all the details.

Read on to see how it all went down — and how Redditors reacted to the story.

“My daughter turned 13 yesterday. I made sure to ask her what she wants for her birthday a few months in advance,” the woman began in her original post. “She gave me a list. Great. I explained she won’t be getting everything from the list as it was big and some things were expensive. She understood.”

“About a week after we had that conversation, she tells me she wants tickets to a show for her birthday,” OP continued. “Going to the show would also mean traveling a little out of the city. Neither are cheap. So I told her that would be the only gift she would get and would also replace a party. She said that’s what she wants and I triple checked before I booked tickets.”

“A couple of weeks ago, would you believe, she tells me she changed her mind again. She wants clothes instead of the show. I told her I already booked everything so there’s absolutely no way,” she added. “She got into a strop about it and said she isn’t going. I told her fine I’ll take someone else, fully expecting her to later apologize and say she is coming.”

According to the woman, her daughter’s apology “never came,” her “attitude got worse,” and “she got into trouble at school.”

“She asked me if I got her the clothes and I told her no, I’m sticking to my word. I don’t think she believed me. Well her birthday came and she realized I wasn’t bluffing,” OP wrote. “I didn’t get her any gifts. She was appalled and I was the worst mother ever. I told her she’s learned a valuable lesson. I really wanted to make her birthday special but she was being awful. Of course other relatives got her things but none from me.”

The mom said her daughter told her grandparents “her side of the story,” claiming it was “all one side making her out as a victim,” so they took her side.

“They called me and I explained to them the whole truth. They also think I’m awful and the “poor girl” needs gifts from her mother. I told them next year will be different if she behaves,” she wrote, before asking, “AITA?”

Initially, OP earned a lot of support, as the post was given an official “Not the A-Hole” label. “You are raising a human that knows that actions have consequences,” wrote one reader, while many thought the move was a valuable lesson. Another commenter joked, “Congratulations on unlocking your ‘Worst Mom EVER!’ Badge!”

The overall opinion on the situation appeared to change, however, after OP revealed a very important detail that turned many against her, with many coming to their conclusion that she was, in fact, in the wrong.

“ESH [everybody sucks here]. She’s acting bratty but you’re being a little harsh. What happened with the tickets? Were they returnable or resealable?” a user asked, to which the mother replied, “Yes I sold them” — this after telling her daughter she’d take “someone else.”

Many Redditors called her out for not including this detail — or adding it — to her original post.

“You should really edit your post to include this, if you genuinely came here for a fair judgement and not just to ‘win’. Kind of misleading as it stands,” a person wrote, while another added, “This is important information. Leaving it out of the original post makes your story pretty one-sided. Almost like you’re trying to play the victim.”

“Wowwwww, what an important detail to leave out. YTA majorly. Jfc, what an evil mom you are,” third user chimed in.

“Oh, you sold them? ESH. you are both acting 13, but only one of you actually is 13,” another Redditor commented.

A handful of users pointed out that since OP sold the tickets, she likely got her money back, and, therefore, should have used the money to buy her daughter a present.

“Then absolutely YTA. If you got all/some of the money back, all/most of it should have been redirected to a different present,” one person wrote.

“100% YTA. You sold the tickets … you claimed to your daughter the reason for no other gift was that you already spent a bunch of money on the tickets and the travel, but that ended up being untrue because you got your money back. What was the lesson? That her mom is petty?” wrote another user. “You could have told her you would try to sell the tickets and when you were able to, you could have had a conversation with her about her behavior and being grateful for the gift she asked for and the trouble you went through to sell the tickets etc.”

That commenter concluded, “The way your OP is worded makes you sound like a very harsh and unforgiving parent.”

“YTA, if you sold the tickets why does it matter ? You were just being petty. I’m all for consequences but that doesn’t even make sense,” another Redditor said.

And as for OP’s daughter’s behavior, most agreed that she’s just being an indecisive teenager.

What do you think?