Kristin Cavallari is taking us back ― back to the beginning ― of her relationship with Jay Cutler, and shedding light on what exactly led to the couple’s divorce.
“It was toxic,” the “Laguna Beach” star said of the former couple’s relationship on Wednesday’s episode of “Call Her Daddy.” “Period, end of story, that’s all I kind of need to say.”
Cavallari said she found herself hiding things about the relationship from friends and just felt “really unhappy.”
“I was in an unhealthy relationship and so that, to me, is not worth it,” she continued. ”Also, I didn’t want my kids thinking that that was normal. And I wanted them to see me happy and see me eventually ― not right now ― but eventually see me with someone who really respects me and treats me the way I need to be treated.”
Cavallari said she didn’t want to get too specific about certain details, for the sake of the couple’s three children: Camden, Jaxon and Saylor.
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“I’m very careful about what I say,” the reality star admitted, telling host Alex Cooper that “if you and I didn’t have microphones in front of us, I’d fucking tell you. But you know, that’s their dad. And my oldest Googles us now and I just want to be very careful.”
The former NFL quarterback and the Uncommon James founder got engaged in 2011 after only eight months of dating. The two briefly called off the engagement before reconciling and eventually tying the knot in 2013.
The “Call Her Daddy” host asked Cavallari if she had really ended the engagement for the reason she gave at the time ― that she didn’t want to be a stay-at-home wife.
“I mean it was so much bigger than that, though,” Cavallari answered. “But basically … I called off the engagement the same reason I got a divorce. Same reasons, I should say.”
She went on to say that if there’s “any takeway” from her ordeal, it’s that “you can’t ignore” red flags.
“People don’t change and you’ve got to trust your gut,” she said.
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“It took me a few years to actually pull the trigger, to be honest,” she added. “Nothing major happened at the end, it was just time.”
She added, “And I remember always asking my mom like, ‘But how am I going to know?’ And she would be like, you’ll just know. And I did, I just kind of knew. And you know it’s the scariest thing, it’s also the saddest thing. I mean it’s so many emotions, but it can also be the best thing.”
But despite it all, Cavallari said has no regrets and she’s still “thankful for our time together.” And most of all, she doesn’t want anything she says to get back to the couple’s three children.
“My mom never said anything bad about my dad growing up and I really respected that and I want to be that kind of mom,” she said.
Cavallari and Cutler jointly announced they were separating in a statement in April 2020.
“With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce,” the two said on Instagram at the time.
“We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart.”