For a long time in our society and culture, there was an unspoken expectation that most women should be married moms. That was the norm. In recent years, that narrowly-focused idea has started to go by the wayside—for the most part.
Actress Marisa Tomei is a great example of a woman who chose to forgo matrimony and motherhood. She’s evidently happy with her distinguished acting career and with herself. Tomei has provided some insight into her decision, however, in case you’re interested in knowing more.
Tomei’s Career Has Always Been Her Priority
Tomei’s stance on the subject of marriage is clear. She told Manhattan Magazine in 2009 that she wasn’t interested in marriage and didn’t think women need to have children to be complete human beings.
Closer Weekly had a story about Tomei’s marital status that included comments from an unnamed friend of hers. The friend “revealed the actress has never been focused on having a traditional family. ‘[It] wasn’t something she ever truly pursued—even in her twenties,’ the insider said. ‘Work has really been her life force.”’
In 2020, Tomei confided to Collider that she was sorry she accepted so-called “mom roles” like Spider-Man’s Aunt May and in The King of Staten Island. She apparently did not want to be portraying mothers or motherly types over and over and getting identified with them. However, she acknowledged that it can be hard to book steady work in Hollywood without taking what you can get.
“I was, you know, talked into it … and I really always felt like, ‘Oh, I could play a lot of things.’ … I think every actor and actress has a lot of dimensions to them and if the scope of what is being written and being made is narrow, and you want to keep working, you do what you can. I mean, I do. I tried it. It was maybe not the right road, but you know, I do try to make the most of it.”
Her Previous Relationships
Though marriage has never been her end goal, Tomei reportedly dated Robert Downey Jr. in 1994. In 2013, E! News shared that baseless were making the rounds about an engagement between her and actor Logan Marshall-Green. They were reportedly seeing each other from 2008 to 2013.
“Though they are not engaged, the couple continue[s] to date,” E! News stated back then.
Tomei was linked to Josh Radnor of How I Met Your Mother in 2013 and 2014.
In 2019, Yahoo! Entertainment reported that she was seen with playwright Marco Calvani at several events in New York.
Marisa Tomei is a great example of a leading lady who has chosen to put herself first and prioritize a career over marriage or children. She’s living proof that fulfillment doesn’t need to come from someone else and that dating doesn’t have to end in marriage to be worthwhile.