Shared from www.cracked.com.
“I usually feel pretty good about myself. I know what I look like. You’d bang me, but you wouldn’t blog about it. You won’t be Twittering “You won’t believe who I’m inside.” It’s fine.”
Guys… Totally got laid last night. By who? It’s not important.
Bill Hicks
ICM Partners
“People tell me, ‘Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime — who cares? Just let it go.’ I say, ‘All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?“
From his 1993 album (eerily titled) “Revelations” one year before he passed away.
Dave Chappelle
Netflix
“Terrorists don’t take black hostages. I have yet to see one of us on the news, reading a hostage letter. ‘Umm… They is treatin’ us good. Uh, we all chillin’ and sh!t. I’d like to give a shout out to Ray Ray and Big Steve and them. Send some Newports.”
It’s always some Chad or Karen… Actually Karen’s probably a bad bargaining chip now.
Bob Saget
Comedy Central
“I told my girlfriend. Tonight when I come home, I wanna make love to you badly, and she said, ‘At least you don’t overestimate yourself.”
Just a quick one. The joke. The joke was a quick one. Thanks, Bob – RIP.
Top image: Netflix
Images and Article from www.cracked.com