Woman Refuses to See Mother-In-Law Who ‘Fat Shamed’ Her After Having Baby

Posting to the anonymous AITA (Am I The A–hole) forum, the new mom shared how her mother-in-law made a few comments in regard to her post baby weight, sparking serious family drama in the process.

While hundreds of commenters had OP’s (a.k.a. the “original poster”) back, others wondered what her husband was doing to help … if anything.

Read on to see how it all played out — and how her other half reacted.

“AITA for refusing to visit my MIL after she fat shamed me following the birth of my baby?” asked OP in the title of her post.

“I (26f) and my husband (26m) just welcomed our first baby a few months ago. Him and I are overjoyed and I am so in love with our tiny bundle. My family has been super supportive, bringing us dinners and making sure we had time for napping while we adjusted to parent life,” OP began.

“My husband’s family is different from mine in a lot of ways. They didn’t want to visit us and only wanted us to come to them (they live about 20 minutes away) and didn’t really care to offer much for support following the birth. We were fine with it and brought our baby over when we were able to — around 3 times a month,” OP said, giving a detailed analysis of the difference between both families, before getting to the heart of the matter.

“After the first month, my MIL began commenting about how much she prioritized ‘losing the baby weight’ after she had her first baby. At first I didn’t think anything of it, I thought she was just voicing her experience as many people do when they are around babies. She then started commenting on my babies chubby cheeks, and how similar they are to mine. I felt a bit hurt but let it slide once again,” OP said.

“The final straw was when my husband was talking to her casually about my wanting to start going on runs again and how we were planning on making it work since our baby is very attached to me. She very loudly said ‘you’re thinking about trying to run? Shouldn’t you start with walking?’ His whole family was in the room and looked at me waiting for my answer. I am an avid runner who only stopped due to my pregnancy, and her comment really hurt.”

The OP then explained why she may have been even more sensitive to the comments.

“When I was a teenager I had a really bad eating disorder, one that I am still struggling with. Comments on my body or physical abilities are hurtful to hear, and she is someone who I knew talked about peoples bodies behind their backs, but I didn’t think she would be so mean to my face. I am not skinny by any means, but live a healthy and active lifestyle so weight should not be my concern,” OP further explained, before sharing the pushback she’s gotten from her MIL since cutting off visits.

“I don’t want to see her anymore. She makes me feel like crap about myself and my husband is backing me up 100%. His mom is angry because she thinks we are just keeping her grandchild away from her and believes it is unfair,” she added. “He goes there without me but it is difficult to take our baby because she is exclusively breastfed and refuses bottles of any kind.”

Similar to how OP’s husband reacted, commenters on the post gave OP an overwhelming amount of support — while also expressing concern the woman could have an eating disorder relapse seeing her MIL.

“NTA: you are choosing to not put yourself around someone whom makes problematic comments that could lead to a relapse of an eating disorder. Eating disorders are deadly and not something to be taken lightly,” the commenter wrote. “His mom needs to feel consequences for her behavior. You’re recovering from making a small person, having them ripped from your body and probably tearing some more things on their journey into the world. Your body did such an amazing thing and is recovering from going through all of that. Your mil Trying to make it all about your appearance is incredibly problematic and ignorant.”

While Redditors were supportive, many wondered why more wasn’t being done by OP’s husband.

“NTA I lived through a very similar situation, right down to the in-laws living 20 minutes away but insisting that we bring the baby to them,” one began, before giving OP’s husband some words of advice. “Your husband needs to speak to his mother and stand up for you. The fact that he’s still visiting at all and your MIL has not offered an apology tells me he’s not actually supporting you the way he could, and in my opinion, should, be. Over time it’s likely you will feel like he’s choosing her over you and resentment will build. It took my partner 5 years to stand up to their family and by then it was too late.”

While another commenter believes OP’s husband should also stay away.

“NTA. But honestly, I think your husband shouldn’t visit her either. Let her make an actual effort before she gets any contact. Especially as there will be a time when he’ll be able to bring the kid. And she’ll sure as hell do the same thing to your child.

OP came back later to give more context into how she is feeling and what her doctors have ordered her to do.

“After reading the first few comments I realize that I left out some info. I am currently 5 months postpartum and have been fully cleared by my doctor to begin my running regiment,” she said.

The most liked comment: “NTA. Commenting on the weight of someone who just had a baby is an incredible a-hole move, no one asked her.” That sparked an equally popular response from someone else, who wrote, “Commenting on someones weight in general is an asshole move. Just mind your own business.”

OP also loved a suggestion from another commenter, who said, “Ask her to come join you for a run?” Her response: “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS!!! She wouldn’t be able to its the perfect amount of passive aggression.”

What do you think?