Ina Garten Reflects On Brief Separation From Husband Jeffrey in New Memoir

In her upcoming memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens, the Food Network star revealed she and her husband, Jeffrey Garten, briefly separated after she quit her job in Washington D.C. to focus on her business, Barefoot Contessa, in the Hamptons.

While speaking to TODAY’s Hoda Kotb in a preview clip of an interview, Ina, 76, reflected on the moment she suggested she and Jeffrey — whom she married in 1986 — take some time apart.

“You had to have a brave conversation with Jeffrey, the love of your life. What was the conversation?” Hoda asked Ina.

“We took a walk on the beach, and I just said to him, ‘I need to be on my own for a little while,'” Ina recalled. “What made it even harder is he said, ‘If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to be on your own.'”

The Barefoot Contessa star said her husband returned to D.C., while she did not.

“He went back to Washington, and didn’t come back,” said Ina, who worked with Jeffrey in the White House in the 70s.

When asked if she had second thoughts about the conversation, Ina admitted, “I felt I said the right thing, but it was really scary, because I said it to somebody I really deeply loved.”

Ina’s full interview with Hoda drops on October 1, the same day her new memoir will be released.

Meanwhile, as shown in an excerpt from her memoir, obtained by PEOPLE, the TV personality recalled what led to her suggesting she and Jeffrey separate.

Ina said she dedicated all her time to her then-new business venture, the Barefoot Contessa, a food store in the Hamptons.

She explained to PEOPLE that at the time, Jeffrey “expected a wife that would make dinner,” adding, “There were certain roles that we played, and I found them really annoying. I felt that if I just hit the pause button, I would get his attention.”

Ina discussed how she “shattered” the “traditional roles” in their marriage in her memoir.

“When I bought Barefoot Contessa, I shattered our traditional roles –­ took a baseball bat to them and left them in pieces,” she wrote, per PEOPLE’s excerpt. “While I was still cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing at the store, I was doing it as a businesswoman, not a wife. My responsibilities made it impossible for me to even think about anything else. There was no expectation about who got home from work first and what they should do, because I never got home from work!”

“When Jeffrey came on weekends, he was a distraction,” she added. “I didn’t pay enough attention to him. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone so I could concentrate on the store. Jeffrey was fully formed and living the life he wanted to live. I wasn’t, and I wouldn’t be able to figure out who I was or what I wanted unless I was on my own. I needed that freedom.”

Ina admitted that she even considered divorce at the time, but decided to propose a separation instead. Still, she said it wasn’t an easy thing to do.

“I thought about it a lot, and at my lowest point, I wondered if the only answer would be to get a divorce,” she recalled in her book. “I loved Jeffrey and didn’t want to shock — ­or hurt — ­him, so I’d start by suggesting we pause for a separation.”

“It was the hardest thing I ever did. I told him that I needed to be on my own. I didn’t say whether it was for now … or forever. In true Jeffrey form, he said, ‘If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to do it,'” she continued. “He packed his bag and went home to Washington with no plan to come back. I buried my emotions and threw myself into my work.”

Ina said that she moved back to D.C. after the Barefoot Contessa closed for the winter. Jeffrey, meanwhile, was about to depart for a six-week business trip.

“Jeffrey met me at the [train] station, and when we got to our house, we sat together on the steps outside, reluctant to go in because we were caught between two worlds: the way it used to be when we were Ina and Jeffrey, and the sad way it was now. A painful limbo,” she wrote.

Ina continued, “‘What can I do to change your mind?’ he asked so hopefully, not understanding that I doubted we could make our relationship work, and that we might be heading for divorce. I just couldn’t live with him in a traditional ‘man and wife’ relationship. Jeffrey hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just doing what every man before him had done.”

Noting that she and Jeffery were “living in a new era,” and his “behavior wasn’t okay with me anymore.”

“I had changed,” she said.

Ina shared that the one requirement she had for Jeffrey in order to give their marriage another shot was for him to see a therapist.

And fortunately, it worked out.

“One hour, that’s all Jeffrey needed,” Ina recalled to PEOPLE. “He went once for an hour and totally got it.”

Reflecting on Jeffrey’s actions in her memoir, she wrote, “Jeffrey’s willingness to see the therapist was as significant as anything that might happen during their session. He was that determined to convince me he was serious about making our marriage work.”

“Six weeks passed. We talked, we listened, and more important, we heard each other when we aired our concerns,” she added. “Moving forward, we could be equals who took care of each other. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but if we worked toward the same goal, we could change things together.”

The brief separation and reconciliation ultimately changed their relationship for the better, and she said she’s grateful for their time apart.

“Thank god I did,” Ina said of asking for a separation. “I think how crazy that was and how dangerous it was, but we wouldn’t have the relationship we have now if I hadn’t done it.”

“It changed him,” she shared, “but it also changed me too.”

Be Ready When the Luck Happens hits bookshelves on October 1. Pre-order it, here.