Because Natasha Lyonne, Elizabeth Olsen and Carrie Coon are in-demand actors, it has proved challenging to align their busy schedules to all be on a Zoom to discuss the beautiful, bittersweet film they made together. But after several false starts, a date is finally agreed upon: Wednesday, Nov. 6. But although they’re excited to talk about “His Three Daughters,” a drama about sisterhood and mortality, there is a noticeable weariness in their voices. For one thing, it’s later in the evening — but more important, it’s the night after the election, and these Kamala Harris supporters are understandably disheartened. And a little raw.
“So many things I don’t want to say on record, to be honest,” says Olsen from Los Angeles when The Envelope brings up the election. “Not because they’re damning — they’re just mine, and I think it’s important to have those.” Eventually, she guardedly offers, “I feel like it’s a time for real discussion and serious conversation instead of this binary ideology that’s not helping anyone.”
“My husband is [away], so I haven’t really started my process of processing yet,” says Coon, in New York, sounding a bit numb. “He comes back Friday, and then I will start my process.”
But Lyonne, also speaking from New York, doesn’t hold back. “America has a soul sickness — and it is, in my opinion, foundational,” she declares. “We make strides and progress, and yet the facts don’t lie. That’s what was so harrowing about last night — a win happened, an actual win that was undeniable. That is a f— sweeping event that occurred. It means that many people really hate that many people.”
All reasonable reactions, and a reminder that no two people go through grief the same way. It’s one of the many lessons “His Three Daughters” gracefully illuminates, studying a trio of sisters, all cooped up in the same New York apartment, as they prepare for the inevitable passing of their father, who is unseen in a back bedroom.
Natasha Lyonne as Rachel, Elizabeth Olsen as Christina and Carrie Coon as Katie on the set of ‘His Three Daughters.’
(Sam Levy/Netflix/)
Coon plays Katie, the oldest and the most Type-A, while Olsen is Christina, Katie’s younger sister, who long ago moved west, her personality sweeter and more compassionate. Then there’s Rachel (Lyonne), the dying man’s lackadaisical daughter from a later marriage, who has lived in that apartment caring for Dad as his health has declined. Katie and Rachel have always been at odds, with Christina stuck in the middle as peacemaker. His death is imminent, but they’re all coping differently with that fact.
Writer-director Azazel Jacobs conceived these roles for the respective actors, and since the movie’s premiere at last year’s Toronto Film Festival, the women have had intense encounters with audience members. “But I’ve also had quite a few people who have gone through [losing someone] recently, who are good friends who have said, ‘I’m not ready to see your movie yet,’” Olsen notes, laughing. “That’s happened probably the most, actually. But I have had people who found it to be incredibly comforting.”
“I ran into a few women in the bathroom after screenings,” says Coon. “Mostly what I find hilarious [are] people saying, ‘My sister is such a Katie.’ Or even better, they say, ‘Oh, no, I’m Katie.’” She laughs. “My character brings that out of everyone.”
Indeed, the movie invites viewers to put themselves in each sister’s shoes, seeing them all as flawed but essentially decent, loving individuals. If Katie is the most combative and controlling, she may also be the most in pain, her need to be right blocking her ability to grieve.
Jacobs had worked or was friendly with each of the actors before casting them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re exactly like their characters.
“When I think of the role I play in my own family, I’m inclined more toward Christina in that I often am a mediator,” Coon says. “I’m a very classic middle child in that regard. I’ve done a lot of therapy, and I’ve done Al-Anon — I’ve done all the work, and that’s what makes me like Katie, because then I come in and give everybody advice.” She looks at Lyonne: “I know Natasha is my brother, who’s going to stay home and take care of my parents when they’re old.”
“Yo, I’m there!” replies Lyonne, smiling. “Free snacks? I’m there!” The “Russian Doll” and “Poker Face” star has portrayed plenty of stoners in her career, and she does again as Rachel, who spends her aimless days betting on sports. Lyonne has frequently pointed out she’s the furthest thing from a pothead, but she also is amused about the pastime Jacobs assigned her character. “I hardly know what sports are! I mean, I’d love to actually be that person, but, quite literally, I’m very much not.”
In conversation, the reserved, reflective Olsen hardly resembles the hippie-ish, therapy-speak Christina. What did Jacobs see in her that made him think she’d be right? “Having this sickness of loving being an actor, I probably, without realizing, adjust my behavior easily to people who I am around. Aza is so kind and soft that I am, potentially, kinder and softer around him,” she says, laughing sheepishly. “He knows me and my role in my family — he sees a version of myself that I don’t have the ability to jump outside of my body, even though I wish I could, to witness that version.”
So many films about the loss of a parent are undone by their saccharine tone. By comparison, “His Three Daughters” is miraculously muted, its devastatingly emotional moments tempered by scenes of incredible anger or dark humor. “It was on the page,” Olsen notes, “but I also think it’s a matter of our collective taste and how we approach work. Carrie, early on, you started speaking about your experience with your grandmother and her passing and how it was the most your family had ever laughed.”
Nodding, Coon recalls, “We were having a good time. Yeah, humorlessness, I don’t trust it — it never feels human to me. What grief does to people is pretty wild to behold. I was younger — I was watching older people really reckon with the loss of their mother. There was a lot of fracture in the family, but then we were bringing her a martini every night in a pickle jar.”
“Remind me to die there,” quips Lyonne with perfect deadpan timing, eliciting huge laughs from her co-stars.
This zinging back-and-forth is also in evidence in the film, in which these sisters metaphorically tear each other apart and then try to heal the wounds that have festered. Some viewers may be wary of the somber subject matter — initially, were the actors?
“I think about death every single day,” Coon replies bluntly.
“Yeah, there’s so many other things I’d rather not do on camera than talk and have difficult conversations and be emotional,” adds Olsen. “There’s so many other things we are asked — and I will continue to do — that are just awful. But I actually didn’t feel [bothered] one day or even one page on this.”
“I feel like it prepares the way,” Coon responds. “That’s the wonderful invitation of being an actor. I have not lost my parents — [making this movie] is not bad practice. Your brain doesn’t know the difference, in a way.”
Impressed, Lyonne jumps in: “I have never heard acting spoken about that way — retraining your neural nets.”
Long after making “His Three Daughters,” they’re still learning from each other about the experience of making this delicate film. And mourning’s winding, unpredictable path remains foremost in their thoughts.
“It is pretty oddball that you’re supposed to just go back out in the world [after you lose someone],” Lyonne says. “‘Well, we did have dinner plans for Tuesday at 8’ F— insane. I mean, it hits you in all kinds of weird waves. I think that grief and heartbreak are these two very weird things. We all go through them — everyone gets a divorce, and everyone dies.”