Demi Lovato says it took five times receiving inpatient mental health treatment before she was able to fully embrace her recovery.
The singer talked about her journey at a Monday benefit event for NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital’s Center For Youth Mental Health, saying she’d “hit rock bottom” by the time she last received care, according to People.
“I have been to inpatient treatment five times,” she told NewYork-Presbyterian’s Dr. Charlie Shaffer during the event, adding that “every single time I walked back into a treatment center, I felt defeated.”
Shaffer’s mother, Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour, hosted the fete along with fashion mogul Tory Burch, NewYork-Presbyterian CEO Dr. Steven Corwin and MeiraGTx CEO Zandy Forbes.
Though Lovato struggled with the idea of treatment for a while, she told attendees that she found hope when she committed to the process.
Dimitrios Kambouris via Getty Images
“I think the glimmer of hope was when I started putting in the work,” she explained, adding that this “started to change when I started to find joy and the little things in life.”
“And that was something that was so foreign to me before because I was so used to, so used to not seeing hope,” she said.
By the time of her fifth experience with inpatient mental health treatment, Lovato said that things “definitely felt different.”
“I just knew what I needed to do, which was to live a life in recovery,” she said. “And that was something that I pushed off for so long.”
While the star has been a huge advocate for mental health through the years, she said that treatment helped her not make these personal struggles into her entire “identity.”
“It wasn’t until I went into treatment for the first time that I realized this isn’t who I am,” she explained. “It’s just a part of what makes me me, meaning my struggles have shaped me into the pottery that you see today, but it’s never become my identity since then. It’s just become something about me that makes me a little interesting, I guess you could say.”
If you or someone you know needs help, call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org for mental health support. Additionally, you can find local mental health and crisis resources at dontcallthepolice.com. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention.