Has your date ever done something so far out of left field that you were left squeamish? Congratulations, you’ve gotten the ick! The slang term refers to the visceral feeling of disgust towards a specific behavior or mannerism displayed by a romantic partner. Sometimes, the ick in question could be a dealbreaker—but conversely, it could also highlight a character flaw within yourself.
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A study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences has discovered an interesting correlation between disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism, and how they relate to romantic aversion (A.K.A. “the ick”). Findings show that women (75 percent) have significantly higher rates of experiencing “the ick” compared to men (57 percent).
While “the ick” has become a popular topic of dating discourse on social media (more so after an episode of Nobody Wants This was devoted to it), the concept has been around for decades.
“The ‘ick’ has become an increasingly prevalent topic over the last few decades. We found references to this phenomenon on social media and TV shows dating back to the mid-90s,” study author Eliana Saunders, a graduate student at Azusa Pacific University, told PsyPost.
And now, science says “getting the ick” could say more about you than your partner.
In the study, participants completed an online questionnaire, in which they were asked about their personal “ick” experiences in regards to dating. A further analysis prompted participants to rate their ick likelihood—using a scale from 1 (not likely) to 5 (extremely likely)—in response to specific behaviors. These were grouped into eight categories: Physical appearance, fashion faux pas, overly digital, overly feminine, misogynistic, annoying speech, publicly embarrassing, and overly trendy. Results showed:
- 64 percent of participants said they have experienced the ick.
- Participants experienced the ick an average of 9.71 times.
- 26 percent chose to end the relationship immediately because of an ick.
- 42 percent ended things at a later point (post-ick).
- 32 percent stayed with the person, despite experiencing the ick.
- 80 percent said they complain about their partner’s icks to friends.
- Only 28 percent shared their ick experience with the person involved.
However, this data set only reflects part of the study. The latter half focused on the participants’ responses to disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism.
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For this section, participants completed a grandiose narcissism inventory test that measured self-importance, dominance, and attention-seeking. Perfectionist expectations for others were assessed by “the extent to which individuals impose high standards on those close to them, making it particularly relevant to our focus on traits that may heighten aversive reactions in romantic contexts,” per the study. Participants’ tendency to experience disgust was also measured via an “agree/disagree” statement test.
According to the findings:
- There’s a strong correlation between greater disgust sensitivity and likelihood/frequency of getting the ick. This suggests “heightened aversion to minor partner cues may shape mate rejection thresholds,” wrote the authors.
- Narcissist personality traits were linked to an increased likelihood of getting the ick, “indicating that narcissistic people may selectively reject partners based on specific perceived flaws.”
- Perfectionism led to increased likelihood and frequency outcomes, “suggesting that people with rigid standards experience the ick more often.”
“I think one of the most important lessons a reader can take from our findings is that it’s important to take each ‘ick’ with a grain of salt,” shared Saunders. “While this feeling of disgust could be a valid marker of mate incompatibility, it could also be a symptom of high sensitivity to disgust, narcissism, other-oriented perfectionism, etc.”
So, your partner’s loud chewing gives you the ick, or their neon green running shoes make you violently cringe inside —does that mean you should end things permanently? This study makes an arguable case that some behaviors could be warning signs of potential future relationship incompatibilities.
However, on the other hand, the ick “may also lead to overly rigid rejection standards.” In other words, your partner isn’t the problem…it’s you.
“Before dumping a partner because their feet dangle when they sit in a chair, we should think critically about why we’re feeling ‘icked’ out. Ask yourself: Is this something I truly can’t deal with, or am I being overly critical? Is this ‘ick’ their fault, or is it mine?” concluded Saunders.
Content shared from bestlifeonline.com.