I have a thing for voices. Call me a voice fetishist if you will, but it’s probably the thing I find sexiest about people. Sometimes, it’s the growly, commanding baritones that get me; other times, it’s the subdued, raspy tones. But accents? By far my biggest weakness.
So when I heard that “Bridgerton” star Jonathan Bailey would be narrating a new sleep story on the Calm app, I knew I had to give it a listen. After all, the “Bridgerton” heartthrob had me drooling with his 1800s regency-era pickup lines throughout the second season. (I mean, “that scent has remained imprinted on my mind” — holy, swoon.)
Here’s how it went: when I logged into my Calm app late last night, I selected Bailey’s new 35-minute sleep story titled “Love Letter from an Englishman.” I was more than ready to drift asleep to the sounds of a sexy viscount instead of my apartment neighbor’s clunky dishwasher.
With “Bridgerton”-esque music playing in the background, Bailey started out the recording by describing what he’d be reading: a letter written by a boat captain in the 1800s who set sail in search for a “rare and beautiful flower for his beloved.” I was into it.
Bailey told me — OK, not me, but everyone listening — to get comfy and close my eyes. I did, noting that I wouldn’t mind if he wanted to instruct me in other ways, too.
Now given that I was attempting to fall asleep, I didn’t really have the energy to fully pay attention to the story. I was too busy getting lost in a dreamy state by Bailey’s narration, perking up when he would say things like “what I would give to cradle your sweet face in my palms again” and “the memory of your goodnight embrace is enough to sweeten my dreams even now.” Was he saying these things to me directly? No. Was I pretending that he was? Absolutely.
I don’t know when I fell asleep exactly, but I know I didn’t make it through the whole audio. Whether it was the ocean wave noises or the sound of Bailey whispering sweet nothings from the phone on my bedside table, I crashed. Hard.
Maybe it’s totally a placebo effect, but I woke up feeling more refreshed — and, hell, maybe even a little flustered. I guess that’s what happens when you have a sexy British man saying things like “you are and always shall be the wind in my sails, the North Star of my heart, my dearest truest love” as you fall asleep. Either way, it was a solid night.
So if you’re in the mood to try something different with your ~bedtime routine~, I highly suggest this sleep story from the Calm app. But if you’re not feeling Jonathan Bailey, you have other options, too. You can listen to people like Regé-Jean Page, Rupi Kaur, and even Michael Bublé all exclusively on the app. If Anthony Bridgerton doesn’t do it for you, surely Simon Basset will?