A woman was completely baffled after her date refused to pay for her $15 dollar rice bowl. The reason why? She didn’t want to go home with him.
In a viral video with more than 420,000 views, Melissa (@melissa_guev) shared her experience on a first date. In the video, she asks whether or not she has to pay for her meal. The man then explains that she should Zelle him, “unless [she] comes home with [him].”
Commenters called the exchange “scary and creepy,” considering the tone of his voice. The man sounded tired and flippant. While it’s unknown what happened prior to the exchange, he originally paid for her meal and then asked her to Zelle or, based on assumption, become physically intimate with him.
Why Do Guys… Do That?
In heteronormative dating culture, there’s an expectation that a guy picks up the tab for a first date or, at the very least, that the meal is split between both parties. The man who Melissa recorded presumably paid for her meal and then proceeded to directly ask about her coming over, which typically leads to a physical intimacy.
Many women in the comments of that video complained about the exchange.
One commenter said, “Why is this the 3rd video I’ve seen [of] guys doing this … they’re so low class.”
Many people said the expectation was laughable considering they didn’t even go to a higher-quality restaurant. In the video, Melissa pans down to a $15 lunch equivalent, a rice bowl similar to that served at Chipotle and other chains.
Another commenter said, “He wanted to buy a woman’s body with a plastic bowl of rice on a patio at a Chipotle-level restaurant. He could buy her filet mignon, and he still doesn’t have the right of access to another person’s body. This is so gross of him.”
The Manosphere
While it’s perfectly normal to split the bill on a first date, it’s not normal to expect favors just because one person pays. Still, toxic dating norms have been increasingly regularized by spaces like the manosphere.
The manosphere generally describes digital spaces “where men express opinions about issues concerning contemporary masculinity and male relationships with women, especially those associated with views that are hostile to feminism and women’s rights.” In recent years, the manosphere has been linked to incel culture.
Here, some “how to get laid” blogs advise men to keep meals light and cheap. A WordPress post called the traditional dinner-and-a-movie date “the proverbial kiss of death” and instead encouraged taking women to lunch to increase the chances of physical intimacy.
As the blog states, “Don’t take her for dinner at all! Grab an inexpensive snack instead…Irrespective of the date venue: restaurant, park, fare, snackette, etc, always go light, which usually means inexpensive compared to a full-course meal which will damper her… appetite.”
Other posts, especially on Reddit, take it further. Some suggest men shouldn’t spend money on women at all until they’ve hooked up.
One Reddit user, u/OddAlternatives, wrote: “Why spend toward the outcome of sleeping with a girl when in current year odds are she’s slept with a guy she just met or didn’t even know at some point who had to pay nothing?”
@melissa_guev so this is the dating scene nowadays? 🤦🏻♀️ #firstdate #datingstorytime #datinglife #fyp #foryoupage
Manosphere discourses like these tend to cheapen connection and undermine authenticity. A genuine bond often starts with something as simple as agreeing to split the bill and getting to know each other without expectations. Here, the unknown video subject likely wasn’t approaching the date in good faith to begin with.
BroBible has reached out to @melissa_guev via email for more information.
The post ‘Why Is This The 3rd Video I’ve Seen Of Guys Doing This?’: New Jersey Man Refuses To Buy Her $15 Lunch During Date. Then He Reveals The Real Reason Why appeared first on BroBible.
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