THE STAR
The star is, in some ways, the female counterpart of the Alpha. These, often female, often very attractive audience members, are under the impression that everyone they’ve ever spoken to has had a delightful time. There is an underlying expectation and assumption that though the comic may be on a physical stage, they are on a stage in spirit, and that not only is everyone aware of their presence, but would like to hear from them. There is a good chance it is their birthday. Their interjections are usually polite in every way except for where and when they are happening. When engaged, they are the most likely to reach for the microphone when it is their “turn” to talk. Correction or criticism of their behavior most often causes them to spiral either upwards into indignance or downwards into confusion and despair. A star and an alpha in a couple is a deadly combination, as the two will fuel each other. The Star combined with the Drunk is what is known as a “Bachelorette Party.”
THE ALIEN
A true wildcard. There is no strategy or sense to dealing with the Alien, and they will often only reveal themselves once the show has begun. The Alien has no idea how stand-up comedy or entertainment in general is conducted. They will disrupt the show in new, borderline artistic ways, like starting a conversation with a different table in the middle of the show, or answering a phone call. When addressed, they will respond only with confusion, as if they’re surprised you can see them at all. Again, response must be handled with care, as they never hold an air of aggression, only of mystery. They may raise their hand with questions, or responses to things you’re saying. If they miss a joke, they may ask you out loud to clarify. They luckily usually are easy to react to, and don’t tend to be persistent. They are usually middle-aged, and often from Norway. After the show they will likely give you some sort of strange silent praise, like a business handshake or a bow, or a business card to a industry that has no connection to comedy.
There are surely more, rarer variants of the heckler, but I find that the fast majority fall into one of these common groups. The one thing they all share in common, is that they are, never, never, “making the show better.”
Top Image: Public Domain/Pixabay
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