Teddi Mellencamp Wonders if She ‘Made a Mistake’ with Divorce Filing: ‘It’s a Constant Ache’

On Thursday’s episode of her Diamonds in the Rough podcast, the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star opened up about experiencing strong feelings of “loneliness” since she filed for divorce from Arroyave in November, admitting that her emotions are making her wonder if she made the right decision.

“We went to this whole couple’s therapy thing, and it announced me as an introvert, and it was shocking information for everybody, even though I’ve been saying this my entire life,” Mellencamp said.

“I am naturally an introvert, so I enjoy my alone time [and] I need to recharge, all of these things, but there’s moments that I’m feeling now, where I feel really lonely,” she continued, beginning to get choked up.

“And I don’t know if those loneliness feelings mean that I’ve made a mistake or this is just something I have to get used to, and this is, like, the new change in my life,” Mellencamp said. “Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed I’m getting emotional, but that it is such a confusing part of all of this.”

She then asked if she’s “supposed to power through” or give it time.”

Her cohost and former RHOBH costar, Erika Jayne, expressed her support, and assured her friend that what she’s feeling is normal.

“I feel for her because none of this is easy and to pick yourself up and even be on a podcast today and talk about it. You know, Teddi, you need to cut yourself a break,” said Jayne, who split from her estranged husband Tom Giardi in 2020. “If you didn’t say you felt lonely, I would be worried.”

In reply, Mellencamp admitted that “it’s a constant ache that I’m trying to, like, fake my way through,” before referencing her father, John Mellencamp, and his complicated relationships.

“I have talked about this in therapy, but it’s almost, like, I’m attracted to another chaotic situation,” she said. “I don’t want to give too much away about my parents or anything like that, but clearly my dad was a rock star. He met some girl at the Rainbow Room and it was my mom, and they had babies [while] he was married already. Like, everything was a s–t show.”

“So, clearly there’s been a lot of ups and downs in my life,” added Mellencamp, who shares Slate, 12, Cruz, 10, and Dove, 4, with Arroyave. She’s also a stepmom to Arroyave’s daughter Isabella, 15, from a previous relationship.

“My only goal has ever been, like, I just wanna give my kids stability,” she explained. “And I don’t know … if it’s loneliness or I feel scared. I also don’t feel like maybe I’m enough. Like, all those things.”

This comes just a few months after Mellencamp announced in November that she and Arroyave had split after 13 years of marriage.

“After a great deal of care and consideration, I have made the difficult decision to file for divorce,” she wrote on Instagram on November 2. “My priority is my children and ensuring that every care is taken with their privacy and wellbeing throughout this new chapter.”

“Making a public statement is not something I wanted to do but in an effort to protect my family from undue speculation and rumors,” she continued, “I felt being open, honest and vulnerable was the best path forward.”

Mellencamp filed for divorce one day before she shared her post, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE, citing irresponsible differences. She listed the date of separation as October 20.

Arroyave has yet to publicly comment on the separation.