Teddi Mellencamp Tearfully Addresses Edwin Arroyave’s Alleged Affair — and Her Own: ‘Was Cancer My Payback?’

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum opened up on the August 5 episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show, addressing rumors that her estranged husband Edwin had an affair — and revealing that she, too, engaged in an alleged relationship with horse trainer Simon Schroeder during the final chapter of their 13-year marriage.

“Did I do things that hurt other people? Yes,” Mellencamp said through tears. “I’ve never talked about it at all, just because of the kids, and I’ve never wanted anybody to have a guarantee whether it happened or didn’t happen.”

And while Mellencamp is taking accountability for the mistakes she made in her marriage to Edwin, it was her ex’s alleged infidelity — which reportedly happened 10 years ago, just before the pair made their debut on RHOBH — that really “broke her.” She claimed the other woman “called me and told me,” days before filming began.

“It was with somebody I knew. I mean, I’m not saying that I didn’t make huge mistakes, and in my marriage post that, but that broke me. That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face and raise these kids, and be this perfect wife and start a television show and become somebody that people like or they think are funny?” Mellencamp recalled. “Or if people say, ‘why? Why do you seem different than when you were on your first season of Housewives? Like when we listen to your podcast?’ And I never really open up about it, but that’s why, that’s what I was going through my first season on Housewives.”

She continued, “So people say, ‘Oh, you seem kind of quiet, or You’re kind of passive, or, but that’s not really who you are.’ And I was like, ‘Well, I wasn’t faking who I was, I was coping.'” Added Teddi: ” I had to beg Edwin to wanna stay with me. I had to beg him. [00:14:10] He, I don’t think he was in love with me at that point.”

Reports of Edwin’s infidelity surfaced as rumors swirled in late 2024 that Mellencamp had grown close to Schroeder, who was also going through a separation. At the time, Mellencamp had just filed for divorce from Arroyave on November 1, citing irreconcilable differences.

Schroeder’s ex-wife, Karli Schroeder, filed for divorce weeks later on December 30, citing irreconcilable differences after rumors of his alleged relationship with Mellencamp broke.

Although Schroeder has never publicly addressed the alleged affair, Mellencamp acknowledged the pain caused by the speculation and her own actions.

“To this day, does it still hurt my heart and I wonder if that’s why I got cancer? Yes, like it was my payback,” she said, referencing her stage 4 melanoma diagnosis, which has since spread to her brain and lungs. “Nothing goes without payment.”

The fallout from both alleged affairs, she said, impacted more than just their immediate family.

“You’re trying to minimize everybody’s pain. You end up maximizing it,” Mellencamp explained. “Because now not only do you have yourself, you have your significant other, your kids, the other person’s significant other, their kids.”

Looking back on that time, Mellencamp admitted she was “so broken as a human being” and was dealing with intense physical symptoms that hadn’t yet been diagnosed.

“Remember how I told you there were like months of headaches and stuff like that? I was looking for comfort anywhere I can get it,” she said, referencing the “severe and debilitating headaches” that led to the discovery of her brain tumors. “I felt so much pain. I felt so sick. I didn’t go to the doctors… the pain was so much that I had gotten to the point of almost hating waking up in the morning.”

Still, she’s not placing blame on her illness. “I wasn’t myself, but I’m not going to blame it all on that,” she shared. “A bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time, and I had zero control of any of them. Like I just was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.”

She acknowledged the chaos and “wreckage” that followed both emotionally and publicly: “So many people are hurt in the wreckage. But I can say this from knowing — the wreckage doesn’t happen on its own.”

Despite the breakdown of their marriage and the divorce filing, Mellencamp and Arroyave remain on good terms, particularly in the wake of her health crisis. The two paused divorce proceedings after her diagnosis and continue to cohabitate while she undergoes treatment.

“I always knew he’d do the right thing by me,” Mellencamp said. “If he wanted to, he could still be filing and finishing this divorce off right now. But my dad [John Mellencamp] and family just said like, ‘I don’t think this is the right thing for her to try to navigate right now.'”

Although she referred to Edwin as her “ex-husband,” Mellencamp clarified, “I don’t know what you call somebody you were married to, then you filed for divorce, and then you got cancer, so then everything went on hold.”

“To this day, I don’t hate Edwin,” she added. “I just want him to be happy, and I want our kids to be happy, and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship, and I don’t want to do anything to hurt him. I kind of know how our marriage works.”