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Larry David may be retired from Curb Your Enthusiasm, but that doesn’t mean he’s lost his eye for spot-on observational comedy.
During a recent appearance in the Smartless podcast, hosted by actors Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes, David — who had Hayes on the final season of Curb — began the interview by explaining that he brings his snacks into his bathroom so he can eat in peace away from his dogs.
“I love when the dogs are out of the house so I can have a meal and relax. You can’t eat with them!” David begins.
“That’s your fault, probably, or [wife] Ashely’s [Underwood], because you fed them, and now, they won’t forget that,” chimed in co-host Jason Bateman.
“She started feeding them from the table — it’s all her fault. I gave her a dirty look but she did it, and now…” David says, before Bateman cut back in saying, “Why don’t you make her eat outside with the dogs? That’ll teach her, then she’ll never to it again.
David explains, “Yeah, I’m telling you, I take snacks into my bathroom — I do. Because of the dogs.”
There are, in my estimation, four types of people in this world when it comes to domestic eating habits, with each being like a stage of an evolving Pokemon, as they’re willing to do the thing that precedes them: people who only eat at a kitchen table, people who eat on their couch, people who eat in bed, and people who eat in the bathroom. David is in the bathroom category.
Now, the thing to consider here is that David is worth almost half a billion dollars, so his bathroom is likely as big as our apartments — couch, TV, etc. — and probably much nicer, at that.
Still, David is proof that no matter how rich you get, if you own dogs, they own you.