Known for her silver locks, Ashley and her son are seen in video buzzing her head as she says she’s been losing her hair “for a while after almost 20 years of extensions, bleaching, stress, hormones, depression … got to a scary point.”
Ink Master winner Ryan Ashley is opening up about her journey with hair loss — or, as she describes it, a “powerful lesson in self acceptance.”
On Wednesday, the tattoo artist and reality star shared a video on Instagram, in which she shaved her head in real-time with the help of her son Atheus, 4.
In the post’s caption, Ashley emotionally reflected on her decision to cut off all of her hair, sharing that she feels “beautiful” and “free.”
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“Why would I shave my head? No I’m not sick, and no I’m not pulling a Britney Spears 😂 the answer is simple, I was losing my hair. It’s been happening for a while after almost 20 years of extensions, bleaching, stress, hormones, depression… got to a scary point,” she began in the caption.
“But through this there is a deeper more powerful lesson in self acceptance. Why was it that all of my confidence, my value, and most importantly my self worth felt directly related to the length of my hair?” she continued. “And why did I feel the need to put more thought, energy and focus into fixing my outer shell as opposed to my inner world? My body has been screaming at me to SLOW DOWN and check in with the mind/body/soul, and the signs were now WELL apparent.”
“As I lost more hair I kept getting more and more extensions but it was time to take action when I truly realized how much of my identity I was directly relating to my long silver hair… which in reality, was never even MINE!” Ashley added. “It was scary realizing how attached I was to a version of me that wasn’t even the ‘REAL’ me.”
Now, after deciding to shave her hair, the Ink Master judge said she’s learned “who I am, how beautiful I am, and how worthy I am have no correlation to what costume I dress up in- whether the costume is hair, clothes or any of the accessories we play with in this realm.”
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While she noted that she’s “always love decorating,” “changing, “experimenting,” and “evolving” her “Ryan avatar,” Ashley said she “realized” she had been “allowing” herself to “live in fear,” and put the “pressure” on herself to “hold on to a version of which I’d outgrown, one that was actually hurting me.”
“That person I became – that scared, insecure person – yuck, well that wasn’t me, either!” she added, before recalling, “I had a choice to make. I could A: continue with the facade with the extensions, back burner it, let it continue on its nosedive trajectory, eventually start wearing wigs- OR, B: I could FACE the truth, EMBRACE the truth, GET HEALTHY and stop taking life so seriously.”
“So… yeah, here I am. Out here feeling like some rad ass futuristic, androgynous, cyborg priestess chick…,” she concluded. “Ex Machina meets Mad Max meets Anyma… anyway, it’s cool. And for the first time in a long time- I feel free. 🙂.”
The video, above, featured the process of Ashley buzzing her head, with Atheus even helping his mom with the razor at one point. “You look beautiful with no hair,” Atheus adorably told his mom in the video, while Ashley said at another point, “It feels so cool!”
Her comments, meanwhile, were flooded with messages from other Ink Master stars, including bald contestant Pony Lawson, who wrote, “Welcome to the club!”
