In the early aughts, Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani were viewed as couple goals. But their 13-year marriage came crashing down in 2015 following cheating allegations on Rossdale’s part, which neither of them confirmed outright. While both rock stars have moved on from their “very contentious” split (Stefani has since remarried country singer Blake Shelton, and Rossdale is dating musician Xhoana), the Bush frontman says no amount of healing resolves the “shame” he still feels over his divorce.
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“I never thought I’d ever get divorced. So there’s a simple shame in my life,” Rossdale candidly explained on the March 20 episode of the Amy & T.J. podcast.
Although the former pair never explicitly explained the reason for their divorce, Stefani has alluded to her ex’s “big secret” in several interviews. She described it as “hell” and “like six, seven, eight months of torture” to Harper’s Bazaar in 2016.
Similarly, Rossdale labeled it a “very contentious, hugely emotional, flared-up situation.” However, his biggest gripe is that their children are growing up in “a broken home”—an experience he’s all too familiar with.
“It wasn’t fun for me to be from a broken home. I think in a way it gave me a career so I don’t mind, because I turned it around into sort of an interesting career path, but it can be quite debilitating for kids,” he said on the podcast.
The exes co-parent their three sons: Kingston James McGregor Rossdale, age 17, Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale, age 15, and Apollo Bowie Flynn Rossdale, 10. (The British musician also has a daughter, model Daisy Lowe, from a previous relationship with Pearl Lowe.)
Being a child of divorce himself, Rossdale said his heart hurts the most for Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo. “I feel bad for my kids, that’s it,” he repeated. “That would be the most profound thing, of like, I wish I could have just figured out a way to not have that in their lives.”
“You don’t want to let your kids down,” he added.
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Despite being co-parents, Rossdale seemingly confirmed his relationship with Stefani is nonexistent—though he’s open to change. “The biggest thing would be when you see the kids that sometimes there’s a loss. It’d be nice if there was more of a connection with the person who made [my children] with me,” Rossdale explained, inadvertently pointing a finger at his ex-wife.
Their challenges aside, Rossdale makes an effort to show up for Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo even if it means having to share space with “the other team,” that being Stefani and her husband of almost three years Shelton.
“I go to a lot of events where there’s ‘the other team,’ so to speak, and I just feel really proud of myself in my consistency as a father. I know in my heart that I’m super consistent,” the father of four said.
And while Rossdale may have some choice words for his ex-wife from time to time, that’s where he draws the line out of respect for their children and her relationship with them.
“I’m handcuffed because I would never want to overly say anything negative about [my sons’] mom. That’s just not right,” he shared. “Less said, soonest mended and I said nothing.”