One of the many great smaller moments that made a big budget blockbuster like Gladiator a worthy Best Picture winner comes early in the film when Maximus sees his friend Quintus. They just won a hard-fought battle and Maximus jokingly asks his fellow warrior if he’s still alive. When Quintus responds yes Maximus laughs and says, “The gods must have a sense of humor.” I love that line. It’s human and conveys so much about the General and how others feel about him. Unfortunately I couldn’t stop thinking about that quote during the last 90 minutes of Gladiator II, because the gods must have a sense of humor to allow a movie this absurd to happen. Despite some fantastic spectacles and a fun Denzel Washington performance, this silly sequel and its aggressive disregard of internal logic, bad editing, terrible pacing, and poorly developed characters wouldn’t survive any Emperor’s judgement.
The first hour of Gladiator II is a pretty fun time if you’re not beholden to the tone of the first film. The sequel is more concerned with entertainment than it is with telling a compelling drama. It features a fantastic opening attack by Roman ships on a walled-city. That’s followed by some violent arena fights with slaves-turned-gladiators. This includes one battle with baboons that’s brought to life with horrible CGI. (Which thankfully is the only glaring case of that in the film.) It tries to capture some of what made Ridley Scott’s original film great, but it’s mostly dedicated to having a good time to begin.
One of the ways Gladiator II focuses on its mission of being a fun return to Ancient Rome is to simply not worry about explaining how or why Maximus’ dying order went unfulfilled. It’s so blatantly not explained it almost feels like a meta joke or a de facto ret-con. Sixteen years after Rome saw a slave kill the Emperor, no one remembers or cares. Things apparently never changed after Maximus died, not even for a day. In fact, things got worse. (We never actually see why that’s true in one of the movie’s many lazy bits of non-world building.) Those with an unceasing devotion to canon will hate that, but it’s all perfectly fine because it’s a deliberate choice that fits with the film’s aims.
Then, for some reason, this sequel decides to switch gears and sticks its head so far up the original Gladiator‘s ass the whole thing falls apart. It suddenly can’t stop referencing Maximus and Marcus Aurelius and “the dream” that was Rome. But that’s all painfully hollow specifically because the movie didn’t care to explain what went wrong or why in the first place. It’s somehow obsessed with Maximus’ story except in all the ways that matter. One flashback that completely changes the end of the original is so egregious I couldn’t believe anyone involved with the film let it happen. The movie wants us to think the first film didn’t matter and also mattered more than anything. It’s bad. Really, really bad.
If Gladiator II’s total lack of internal logic was its only problem, it might still be an enjoyable movie experience. But the issues of the second half are much bigger than just a lack of reason. This is a poorly edited movie that also doesn’t look as good as the first film. Sequences are either too short, too confusing, or badly filmed. The movie also features some truly horrendous pacing. Every “big moment” falls flat because there’s almost no build to them. This is a film completely devoid of crescendos that is overflowing with too many drop-offs. Basic storytelling mechanics are either completely absent or done so badly they might as well be missing.
It also features too many characters, almost none of them well-developed. Characters do and say things just because the plot needs them to, not because it makes sense or reveals something about them. Gladiator II has two evil Emperors, but combined they aren’t a fraction as interesting or rounded as Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus.
Even the movie’s best characters, Pedro Pascal’s General Acacius and Denzel Washington’s Macrinus, feel like they needed 50% as many scenes as they got. No surprise both performers are great, especially Washington who is having the most fun he possibly can, but the script fails them both in different ways. Pascal’s Acacius is simply under used, and everything that makes Washington’s Macrimus truly interesting is held back from us for too long. By the time you know why he’s actually fascinating—and what vital role he’s actually playing—it’s too late. At that point, the film has already collapsed under its own silliness.
The same is true of Connie Nielsen’s returning Lucilla. She gets enough screen time, but the script’s fatal flaws drag down her character’s arc. We don’t truly know why she did anything she did 16 years ago. And the stakes of what she’s trying to do now feel beyond empty.
The other major issue is that the movie’s leading man Paul Mescal can’t rescue this film because he’s just fine. He’s definitely not bad, but the role doesn’t give him enough to work for for him to be truly good. He was always in for an uphill battle considering his grownup version of Lucius— who it turns out is the secret son of Maximus—has to replace one of the truly iconic character and performance combos in Hollywood history. No one could really take the place of Russell Crowe’s Roman General, but Gladiator II‘s script made it impossible for Mescal to even get close.
Not everything about Gladiator II is bad. There are some truly impressive spectacles. The bigger the better, too. The farther away from the action the camera gets, the more impressive things look. (The film’s biggest scenes also have far better editing than the more intimate ones.) Yet even then they often feel rushed and unfulfilling, like the incredible Naval battle in a flooded Colosseum. It’s among the film’s best sequences, yet leaves you wanting so much more from it. All of Rome itself somehow feels too small this time around. It’s disappointing.
I’m a huge Gladiator fan, but I went into this sequel ready to enjoy it on its own merits. That’s exactly what I did for as long as I could. The problem is Gladiator II quickly ran out of merits. If that sounds funny I’m glad. The gods shouldn’t be the only ones with a sense of humor when it comes to this ridiculous sequel.
Gladiator II also stars Connie Nielsen, Derek Jacobi, Joseph Quinn, Fred Hechinger, Matt Lucas, Peter Mensah, and Tim McInnerny. It enters the theatrical arena on November 22, 2024.
Mikey Walsh is a staff writer at Nerdist. You can follow him on Bluesky at @burgermike. And also anywhere someone is ranking the Targaryen kings.