The doors to the academy were guarded by two Glintstone Mages, who, let’s be honest, look exactly like the Burger King mascot. They whooped my ass. And then again. And again. So I went off and did some more grinding, leveling up and pumping up the stats I needed to raise. I even farmed a few cheeky levels by killing a big troll who couldn’t reach me through a doorway over and over again, both of us respawning in an unholy cycle of death and destruction. To no avail. I battled those damn Burger Kings over and over. Each time getting a little more boring, a little less magical. Until finally, miraculously, I beat them. But I didn’t feel like a god, I didn’t feel the rush of endorphins that I’ve heard others describe when they complete a hyper repetitive task for the final time. I feel exhausted. But my prize awaited, there was a wise lord who would teach me powerful magic waiting right behind that door… Absolutely wrong. I opened the academy door and immediately got rushed by a million freaking guys with a million f*cking arms. I shrieked and died immediately. For the last time. The game defeated me by making me realize that instead of dying again and again, I’d rather get up from my couch and do some actual living.
Giving Up On ‘Elden Ring’
