Image Source: Getty / Bruce Glikas
The last thing I want to do when I think about my ex is “celebrate them.” Yet according to Drew Barrymore, this is exactly what we all should be doing when we process the end of a relationship.
In an interview with Kate Hudson on “The Drew Barrymore Show,” Barrymore explained the reason why she invited her ex Justin Long to be interviewed on her show: “It’s so fun to celebrate and champion your exes.”
Of course, the audience reacted the way we all would and erupted with laughter, but the 47-year-old talk-show host laughed and said that she was serious.
Hudson quickly jumped in and agreed with her longtime pal. The “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery” actress added that by not getting past the pain of a breakup, “you’re just holding it.” She also noted that “even in relationships where things can go really south, I believe there’s always a way back to finding a place where you can have compassion and still feel that love, just differently.”
Though this idea of celebrating an ex may seem foreign to you and I both, it’s not an entirely new concept. It’s pretty much along the same lines as Ariana Grande writing a hit song about wanting to thank her exes and Lauren Conrad delivering her infamous quote, “I want to forgive you, but I want to forget you.” (Though the latter was about a friend breakup, it’s the same premise here.)
The common theme is that while holding resentment toward an ex is not healthy (which we all likely know to be true), it may be helpful to appreciate your exes for what they actually did contribute to your life. In Barrymore’s case, she mentioned that now she has an amazing coparenting relationship with her ex-husband — in fact, it “has never been better.”
Although I’m not as emotionally mature as as Barrymore now, she does make a solid point. While it’s hard to admit, it’s likely that most, if not all, relationships in your life have brought some good despite the bad and ugly. Even if it wasn’t a lot of good, something beneficial you learned about yourself or what you need in a future relationship came out of it. And yes, this could be worth celebrating instead of, say, keying a car or signing your ex’s number up for Cat Facts.
But Barrymore also makes it clear that you don’t have to be best friends with your ex to celebrate them — especially if they’re dating someone new. She explains that it’s more so about learning to love them in a different way and appreciating them for who they are and what they did for you.
While this all sounds great in theory, personally, I’m not against carrying a lifelong hate grudge against your ex. I’m also open to that being my red flag. Maybe someday I’ll be as healthy of an ex as Barrymore is.