This would be a great pizza for hiding in a dark room, or to be used in some sort of optical illusion, but for dinner? Not so much. Plus, regular pizza might get a little messy, especially when shared amongst friends, but you’ll find that no amount of napkins will serve enough to get the dark black stains of India Ink off your fingers and mouth. And while you’re off to the garage to fetch the turpentine to clean up, your party guests are all sneaking out to go home or to the hospital. Very Un-Cowabunga!
Divorce Papers
Shacked up in your brand new houseboat, with your brand new identity, all you want to do is enjoy a hot, cheesy dinner circle. A desire that, with the ring of your doorbell, is about to come true! You answer the door, with your pizza bib already fastened tightly around your neck. You notice that the pizza man certainly looks stronger, and more gruff than usual, but that’s probably due to the economy. You’ve got pizza to worry about! “You’ve been served,” he tells you. A strange choice of phrase, but accurate nonetheless! You thank him, and tip him with a generous handful of change and saltwater taffy.
But when you pop that box, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise: baked right amongst the mozzarella are the charred corners of a manila envelope containing the divorce papers you’ve been trying to avoid for months! Even after draining your bank account, and paying for a legal name change, these chickens have still come home to roost, right alongside the crispy bacon you ordered. Well, time to take to the sea!