Lady Gaga once got real and raw about something she’s kept quiet for years. On Oprah and Prince Harry’s Apple TV+ show The Me You Can’t See (per The Irish Times), she opened up about a terrifying chapter from her past—when she was assaulted at 19 by a male music producer. What’s worse? The attack left her pregnant, and the person literally dumped her outside, sick and alone.
The pop icon said it started when the producer threatened to destroy her music unless she stripped. Gaga wasn’t on board, so she walked away, but he didn’t let it go. The man kept pressuring her until she froze. Gaga added that she doesn’t even remember some parts—it was that traumatic. Later, he left her outside her parents’ place, pregnant and throwing up. She had been trapped in a studio for months, abused and broken down, and her body just couldn’t take it anymore.
Years after the assault, her body started reacting in strange ways. Lady Gaga revealed she was rushed to the hospital with insane pain and numbness. But doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then she was sent to a psychiatrist, and it clicked—her body was reliving old pain. “First I felt full-on pain, then I felt numb, and then I was sick for weeks after,” she stated.
That’s when the Joker: Folie Á Deux actress recognized the same pain she’d felt after the attack. Even when she was at the peak of her fame (accepting an Oscar for A Star Is Born), she was still silently suffering. Gaga said she had an “ultra state of paranoia” and lost herself for a while. She wasn’t the same woman anymore.
“I had a total psychotic break and, for a couple years, I was not the same girl. The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was r*ped. I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they don’t find nothing. But your body remembers,” Lady Gaga added.
Even today, one bad trigger can take her back to those awful feelings. She’s been open before, talking about the assault in her music—like in Swine and ’Til It Happens To You—but this was the most personal she’s ever gotten. Still, she said she’ll never name the guy who did it. “I understand this #MeToo movement, I understand that some people feel really comfortable with this, and I do not,” she continued. “I do not ever want to face that person again.”
After years of healing, Lady Gaga found ways to bring herself back. She ended the interview with hope, saying things did slowly shift. And just like that, she reminded everyone that it’s okay not to be okay.
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