Parent ‘Out of Line’ and ‘Unreasonable’ for Asking Teen to Set Alarms to Stay Awake While Babysitting

In the story, posted to Reddit’s anonymous “Am I the A-Hole” forum, the OP (a.k.a. the “original poster”), who didn’t specify their gender, said they were “bothered” by something they saw on the camera during her first night watching their children.

This prompted them to approach the teen, which didn’t go over well with the babysitter or their wife, leaving the parent to ask Reddit for their take.

Read on to see the full story and how Redditors reacted.

AITA for asking our babysitter to set alarms when she sleeps?

“My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 and 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often,” OP began. “We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college. Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him.”

“A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept,” they continued.

“That bothered me,” continued OP, which led to them taking matters into their own hands.

“Without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she’s awake since the baby monitor didn’t wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that,” they wrote.

OP said that their wife wasn’t happy with their suggestion, or how they handled it.

“I guess it hurt the kids feelings because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because ‘she’s only 16’ and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I’m being unreasonable and that I should’ve talked to her first because this could’ve been a ‘learning experience,'” OP shared. “She also said I was completely out of line as well.”

“I’m really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for properly. Aita?”

Any validation OP may have been hoping for was squashed by Redditors in the comments, with users slamming the parent for criticizing a 16-year-old’s babysitting skills. The majority, in fact, did deem OP as the a–hole in the situation, and the user’s post received the office “A–hole” label.

“I am curious why anyone thought a 16 year old would fit the bill of a night nanny? It amazes me that people with money always cheap out when it comes to paying for their children’s sitters and nannies. You and your wife are both the a–holes in this scenario. YTA,” read the top comment, which had over 33,000 up votes.

“My daughter is 17. This makes me see red. She’s a kid. No she can’t set f$@&ing alarms in the middle of the night,” a Redditor replied. “What a major AH. YTA.”

“Not to mention that her setting alarms is useless. If she sets an alarm for 8 but the baby wakes crying at 9. Shell be asleep again and might not hear,” another added. “These people are AHs. I’m VERY curious what they are paying this minor to watch a bunch of kids, toddlers and babies overnight.”

Another user noted that they wonder if the parent “wants [the babysitter] to stay awake the entire night and the alarms are just in case she does fall asleep,” to which others said they were curious about the same thing.

Several people pointed out that since the parent works in the “medical field,” he should know that growing teenagers need sleep.

” … Not to mention, this so-called health professional seems to have ignored the rotation on adolescent medicine where it’s explained they need 9hrs of SOLID sleep,” the Redditor explained. “Due to development at that age, they sleep heavily and aren’t going to have the same ability to wake easily for a crying infant and asking her to wake herself repeatedly during the night (disrupting the natural sleep cycles and limiting REM cycles) gives me about as much confidence in this person’s medical knowledge as I have in a parent who’d hire a 16yo as a nanny.”

Many users also noted that in some states there are laws that prohibit minors from working overnight.

Meanwhile, OP later added more details, and attempted to defend themselves, replying to multiple commenters.

The parent said that they pay the babysitter $20 an hour, noting that it’s “reasonable” for Memphis, where they live. They added that they “throw her extra” when she works overnight. OP also explained that the babysitter only works overnight “like every other weekend.”

Despite what they implied in their original post, the parent wrote in multiple comments that the teen is “welcome to sleep.”

“She is welcome to sleep once all the children are asleep and we have a baby monitor set up and is kept directly next to the couch so she could hear if the baby is awake,” OP replied to a user. “We have asked her to check on the baby through out the night if she is awake. I don’t typically choose teenagers for overnight babysitters but we had really good luck with our last one, and this one babysat our coworkers child from only 2 months old up to almost a year old (while 15.) over nights as well. So I had trust in her.”

Even if the teen does not apparently watch the children overnight regularly, the consensus from Redditors was that OP should have hired a professional babysitter or nanny who is an adult and is trained to work overnights.

“YTA: Don’t hire a child and expect them to behave like a professional night nanny. You get what you pay for,” a person wrote, while another added, “YTA hire an adult to watch your kids cheapskate. You’re putting your kids at risk by leaving them in the care of a literal child overnight.”

“YTA. If you want someone awake all night then you need to hire an adult!” another commenter exclaimed. “This child you hired needs to sleep at night so she can go to school and learn during the day. How can you someone in the medical field not understand how important sleep is to a growing body and brain?!”‘

What do you think?