Audio By Carbonatix
Tipping etiquette can be confusing at the best of times. But when it comes to tips at weddings, it seems like the protocol is pretty non-negotiable: no visible tips allowed.
However, it looks like bartender Hannah Borsenik (@hannyb11) didn’t get the memo. She went viral after being prevented from having a tip jar at a wedding.
The viral TikTok, which has amassed 256,100 views, features a photo of Borsenik with her thumb up (presumably) at work at the wedding venue, with the caption reading: “Bartending a wedding and they just told me I’m not allowed to have a tip jar.”
Commenters Are Split
Many of the comments weren’t sympathetic toward Borsenik.
“Gratuity was included in the contract,” one claimed. “Don’t lie. Asking guests to tip is tacky.”
“That’s pretty standard,” another added. “That’s why we charge 2k+ because it’s in the price. Tip jars at formal events are tacky, and most ppl aren’t carrying cash anyway.”
While a third echoed, “Absolutely not. Bride and groom pay the contracted price and gratuity. Asking their guests to tip you as well is tacky and embarrassing. The couple wants guests to have a good time and not have to worry about tipping.”
However, some commenters defended Borsenik. “Not tipping the bartender at a wedding is also tacky,” one pointed out. “I have never IN MY LIFEEEE attended a wedding and not tipped the bartender,” another added. “BFFR”
A third wrote, “As someone who helped run an upscale wedding venue.. You should absolutely have your jar out.”
A Follow-Up
In a follow-up video addressing the backlash, Borsenik explained that while the venue she works for does a lot of weddings, gratuities aren’t part of her pay. During previous weddings, she claims that she is usually allowed to have her tip jar behind her, and notes that the majority of her income comes from tips. However, on this occasion, she says the bride and groom asked her not to have a tip jar.
Yet, over on Reddit, multiple users recalled seeing tip jars at weddings. One claimed that they “almost always” see tip jars at weddings. Another echoed that tip jars were at every wedding they attended.
What Do The Experts Say?
Speaking to DWeddings, event planner Travis-Lee Moore broke down exactly how tipping should work at weddings.
“Keep in mind,” he began. “No tip jars ever!”
“Bartenders are given a gratuity of 10% to 20% of the total bar bill, with the understanding that a tip jar is never appropriate,” he told the outlet.
Similarly, Evermore Occasions advises against tip jars. “Though it is customary to tip bartenders at weddings, we advise against putting out tip jars,” the site reads. Guests may feel obligated to leave a tip, and you don’t want them feeling uncomfortable on your big day.
Event planner Melissa McNeely joined this chorus, doubling down on claims that it could make guests uncomfortable. However, she added that bartenders should be making “an honest hourly wage” and that the host should cover their tips.
Borsenik didn’t immediately respond to BroBible’s request for comment via TikTok comment and email.
Content shared from brobible.com.