WHEN Heather Rose tuned in to Facebook to film her usual daily live video for her fans, she expected to see the regular 10 people watching to hear her advice as a wannabe beauty influencer.
So when some 5,000 people joined in the first few minutes the 45-year-old was initially pleased – but then they started leaving her vile messages.
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Unbeknownst to Heather, the link to her video had been shared in a ‘troll group’ on Facebook, which encourages its members to send abuse to the victims.
For 10 minutes, the mum-of-one, from Lancashire, tried to keep her calm and not let the trolls get the better of her, as they posted comments such as “you’re ugly” and “go kill yourself”.
But as soon as the video stopped, Heather, who was bullied horrendously at school, broke down.
Speaking in this exclusive interview, Heather says: “I could see the numbers going up and up and I thought I’d either made it as a beauty influencer, or something had gone wrong.
“Then I saw the comments.
“They were horrific things like ‘you shouldn’t be on this planet’, ‘no one is going to buy beauty products off you, you ugly person’, ‘go and kill yourself’.
“It was awful. I thought I could either end the live there and then and they’d know they’d won, or I could ignore them, so that’s what I did.
“But afterwards, I sobbed to my husband Barry, as it emotionally broke me.
“Now, it’s part of what I teach to others about social media – I want others to learn from my experience.”
Heather was selling beauty products and trying to make it as an influencer in 2017.
She would jump on to record live videos every morning at 9am to her followers, demonstrating quick makeup routines for mums on the school run, as well as recommending products.
About 10 people would join the live every day. But on 4 April 2017, Heather watched as the numbers kept growing.
Initially, she was pleased that her content was reaching a wider audience, but when the abuse started, Heather realised there was an issue.
Comments included ‘you fat b***h’, ‘you don’t deserve to be here’, ‘who would look at you?’ ‘Do everyone a favour and end your life,’ as the number of people on the live increased to a huge 5,000.
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Heather managed to get to the end of her video before breaking down in tears – just as another message pinged on Facebook.
It was from a stranger, explaining that Heather’s video had been posted maliciously into a troll group on Facebook on ‘National Troll Day’, and all the members had been told to pile on abuse.
Heather said: “That person must have been in the group otherwise they wouldn’t have known what was happening, they said they felt sorry for me, but I ignored them and blocked them, like everyone else.
“I thought maybe she did have a conscience and she did feel sorry and she’s maybe been brainwashed into this cult or whatever they want to call it.
“But it was really heartbreaking because I’d had insecurities in my past and mental health struggles, I’d even tried to end my own life when I was 16.
“The trolls didn’t care about that, they didn’t care what they were saying to someone or whether I had a background of struggles. I could have left that live and tried to take my own life and succeeded that time and they wouldn’t have cared.”
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Barry, 46, and Heather’s mindset coach spent 24 hours deleting and blocking the comments.
Heather admitted that “she’s lucky” to have a strong network of support around her or the situation could have had a more severe outcome.
She said: “The comments were just absolutely horrific and took me back to when I was severely bullied at high school.
“I’ve been bullied through adult life as well and seem to have had a pattern of people bullying me.
“To have this on a live video could have been detrimental to my mental health and it could have gone very, very brutally wrong.
“Luckily for me, I have been working on myself. I’ve got a very supportive husband and I was working with a mindset coach at the time.”
The following day, Heather took to Facebook again for her morning live, determined not to let the trolls win.
She said: “About 50 people showed up to support me, so the trolls actually did me a favour. I’d posted about what had happened and people came to my live.
“Everyone is quick to say #bekind but they’re also quick to forget about it. Look at the tragic actions of Caroline Flack or others in similar situations.
“To troll someone to that level, there must be something they are insecure about themselves. Maybe they have been through an ordeal and it’s their way of dealing with it.”
Heather, who runs Pink Fizz Social, and is mum to 16-year-old son Isaac, decided to follow the mindset that “bullies don’t deserve air time”.
Surprisingly, the barrage of hate ended up having the adverse effect on Heather’s social media following and she gained more daily viewers and support from watchers.
These trolls don’t matter, they don’t pay your bills, they are insignificant
Heather Rose
She said: “It’s actually had a positive effect on me, although it was devastating at the time.
“Now I don’t just teach people about social media, but I want to use my experiences to help people be more confident and know they are in control of their own story, not the trolls.
“I want to empower other people to be visible. These trolls don’t matter, they don’t pay your bills, they are insignificant.”
However Heather feels sad that these attacks still happen and pointed out that many women are “scared” to be visible on social media for fear of being trolled.
She insisted that it’s holding many people back in their businesses.
She said: “They hear all about celebrities getting trolled and it just puts people off from showing up and being authentic online.”
Regardless of her trolling experience, in 2021, Heather launched her social media mentoring business where she specialises in Facebook marketing.
Heather managed to move on from her experience of being trolled by viewing the comments as not being directed at her personally.
She realised that trolls weren’t out to “abuse Heather that day” – and that they would have said the same comments to anyone.
She said: “Maybe something’s happened to them in the past. Maybe they’ve been through an ordeal and this is their way of dealing with it but then there are trolls out there who just do it for the kick as well.
“They don’t deserve our air time or deserve to have any part of our journey. We are in control of our own destiny and they don’t deserve to be part of that.
“These people and these incidents that happen in our lives, we can’t let them take control. We’ve got to take that control back and make it the best life that we possibly can as life is too short.
“The more people that speak out, the more we can get more positive things happening and the more kindness being said online will just drown out these trolls.”
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