“My dad said to me, ‘It doesn’t matter how good you are, how talented you are, you’re not going to find enough work.'”
Making it big in Hollywood isn’t easy, so for the parents of some aspiring actors and musicians, it’s not the career path they want their children to follow. Instead, they’d rather see them go to college and pursue a more stable profession.
But for those who have dreams of walking the red carpet and starring in films, they’d rather take the risk — even if it means they don’t have the support of their parents. While celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Dwayne Johnson did end up making it big, they say that early in their career, their parents definitely disapproved.
Find out what happened between these celebrities and their parents…
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1. Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez had a complicated relationship with her mother early in her career. In fact, she ended up homeless for a period of time. When Jennifer dropped out of college to pursue her entertainment industry dreams, her mom didn’t think it was a good idea. Jennifer moved out and started sleeping at her dance studio.
“My mom and I butted heads. I didn’t want to go to college — I wanted to try and dance full-time. So she and I had a break,” Jennifer told W Magazine. “I started sleeping on the sofa in the dance studio. I was homeless, but I told her, ‘This is what I have to do.’ A few months later, I landed a job dancing in Europe. When I got back, I booked In Living Color. I became a Fly Girl and moved to LA. It all happened in a year.”
Thankfully, Jennifer and her mom made amends and are now incredibly close.
2. Simu Liu
Simu Liu admits he had a rocky relationship with his parents growing up. After spending his early years with his grandparents in China while his mom and dad were studying abroad, he was suddenly uprooted to live with them in Canada. Through his adolescence, they constantly butted heads when Simu couldn’t live up to their incredibly high expectations. Instead of focusing solely on academics, Simu rebelled and formed a boy band.
It wasn’t until Simu graduated from Western University’s Ivey Business School and became an accountant that he felt his parents were actually proud of him. But less than a year later, he was laid off — and Simu took it as a sign to pursue his dreams of working in film, much to the chagrin of his parents. Their relationship suffered as Simu tried to begin his new career of which they disapproved.
The family reached a turning point in 2017, after Simu landed his role on Kim’s Convenience and he wrote an eight page “heartfelt” letter to his mom about all that they had been through. It marked the first time they had “really talked about those issues” and helped them acknowledge that they were “flawed human beings trying to do our best.”
“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found empathy as to what they were going through at the time. We’ve come so far,” he told People. “When we’re young, we think of parents as just monolithic, all-powerful beings that don’t change. It’s such an incredible thing watching our parents change and grow and mature in their own way.”
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3. Gemma Chan
Growing up, Gemma Chan’s parents told her that the only worthwhile carers were becoming a “doctor, lawyer [or] accountant.” Gemma had an interest in law so she enrolled at Oxford — but quickly realized she didn’t want to be a lawyer full time. She went on to complete her law degree but instead of accepting a job at a law firm when she graduated, she instead enrolled at drama school.
“It went down about as well as you might imagine…I completely understand why they were fearful and upset because I don’t come from a show-biz family. We have no connections to anyone in the business,” she told Allure. “My dad said to me, ‘It doesn’t matter how good you are, how talented you are, you’re not going to find enough work.’ I finished drama school 10 years ago now, so I’ve been working for 10 years. But back then, there really weren’t that many Asian faces on stage or screen in the UK.”
But years later, Gemma says her parents are now “incredibly proud,” adding, “I took them to the London premiere of Crazy Rich Asians, and they were so, so, so proud. And I spoke to my mom just after the film finished, and she was really — you know, she was in tears.”
4. Dwayne Johnson
Dwayne Johnson’s father may have been a renowned wrestler, but he didn’t want his son to follow in his footsteps. When Dwayne told his father he had an interest in also becoming a wrestler, he says it caused a massive rift between them.
“We had the biggest fight between a father and a son over this. He said, ‘Look around. Look what I have after all these years, and I want more for you.’ And I said, ‘I know, and I appreciate that, but I feel like I have something to offer.’ And we fought and fought and fought,” he shared on the Today show.
It wasn’t until his mother intervened to help remedy the situation that Dwayne’s father agreed to train him.
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5. Kerry Washington
When Kerry Washington decided she wanted to pursue acting, her parents weren’t quite on board. Kerry says that her mom was actually quite upset because she didn’t want her daughter to struggle on what would be a difficult path to find success.
“It’s different, but I could identify with the struggle of acceptance in my own family around my artistic calling. My mother’s nightmare was for me to be a starving actress. She felt, life is hard enough for you as a woman, as a person of color; why would you take on this additional struggle?” Kerry told The Guardian.
Kerry says her parents are now “really happy” for her and are glad that she hasn’t struggled in her career.
6. Steve Martin
Growing up, Steve Martin had a complicated relationship with his father which continued on into his career as an actor and comedian. He says his father was always critical of his performances, even when he was appearing in successful films and receiving major accolades. After attending the premiere of 1979’s The Jerk, the only thing Steve’s father said was, “Well, he’s no Charlie Chaplin.” When Steve hosted Saturday Night Live, his father condemned it in a newsletter.
“I always thought my father was a little embarrassed by me. He couldn’t quite be proud of an unconventional showbiz act that he didn’t quite understand,” he said in STEVE! (Martin) A Documentary in 2 Pieces, adding that by the middle of his career he “had been so sort of alienated” by his father that “negative comments were actually encouragement.”
Later in life they reconciled and he became a major supporter of his career.
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7. Leslie Jones
When Leslie Jones dropped out of college to become a comedian, her father was not supportive at all. Looking back, she says when she called her family to tell them she was quitting school, her father told her she wasn’t funny enough to make it her career.
“He was like…‘You ain’t funny! You ain’t never made me laugh. Ever!’ He did not support it. He did not support it at all…The whole family. My friends, everybody, was like, ‘Girl, when you gon’ give up this comedy thing and get a real job? One of my friends really thought I was funny, but they really was like, ‘Get a job,’ too,” Leslie shared on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
8. Daniel Dae Kim
Growing up, Daniel Dae Kim’s family wanted him to follow a traditional path and pursue a career as a doctor or lawyer. But when he was in college, he took an acting course and it changed the direction of his life. He decided to seriously pursue acting, which caused conflict with his parents.
“It was really difficult the first few years,” he recalled to NBC News. “My parents worried about me. I think at the heart of our conflict at the time was the fear that their son wouldn’t be able to make a living in his chosen profession and wouldn’t be able to do all the things a son is supposed to be able to do like get married, have kids, and support the parents when they get older — that vision that many Asian immigrant parents have for their children.”
Nowadays, Daniel says his parents are fully on board — and his dad even “likes to give career advice” about which acting projects he should take on.
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9. Ross Butler
Ross Butler discovered his love of acting in college after taking an acting class. When he decided to drop out of school, where he was studying engineering, in order to move to California, his mom did not approve. In fact, the pair didn’t speak for several years because she saw acting as “insecure and frivolous and not a way [he] could support [himself].” Looking back, he says he wishes he had been able to pursue creative endeavors earlier so it didn’t come as such a shock to his family.
“I think the problem isn’t necessarily the decision to go into the arts. The problem is allowing Asian American kids to be creative at a younger age so that a choice down this path doesn’t seem so radical or out of the ordinary. Because if I had started earlier, I can’t speak to how history would have changed, but the transition may have been earlier,” Ross told Paper.
Thankfully, he’s now on good terms with his mom.
10. John Mulaney
John Mulaney knew he wanted to pursue a career in entertainment for most of his life. Despite often telling his parents about his dreams, they were still unsure about being a comedian full time, knowing how hard it was to succeed in the field. As a teenager, John’s father tried to grasp the concept of becoming a comedian.
“He went, ‘You’ve been saying you want to be a comedian. What does that mean? You want to be like Steve Martin? … What would that be? I don’t understand what that is.’ I don’t think he was putting it down, but I don’t know if he wasn’t putting it down as a non-serious thing,” John said on The Off Camera Show.
Just before John graduated from college, his dad brought it up again, asking if he was sure about his career choice. When John asked his father if he would be more proud of him if he were an “investment banker or bond trader,” it marked a turning point after which he became more understanding. When he began to find success, all their concerns were alleviated.
11. Sandra Oh
Sandra Oh says her mother wasn’t very supportive of her choice to become an actress early on in her career. But looking back, Sandra explained that she chose to use her mother’s disapproval as motivation to succeed in the entertainment industry.
“My mom saw acting as ‘low,’ that was her thinking coming from Korea. She’s just a classic East Asian parent — constantly dissatisfied! But not being satisfied gives you drive, it’s not bad,” Sandra told the Sunday Times’ Style Magazine.
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