Britney Spears feels she has “no purpose” amid her estrangement from her teenage sons.
The Toxic hitmaker took to Instagram on Saturday to share five audio messages in which she reflected on a variety of topics, including her difficult relationship with Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden, 15, whom she shares with ex-husband Kevin Federline.
In a recent special for 60 Minutes, Jayden claimed Britney “struggled” to love him and his brother amid her controversial conservatorship, which was terminated last November.
“Since they’ve been gone, I’ve honestly felt like a huge part of me has died,” she stated. “Like, literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy, they were my everything. I looked forward to seeing them, that was what I lived for. And then all of a sudden, they were gone. I was like, ‘Did my heart just stop beating?’ Honestly, I don’t understand how it’s so easy for them just to cut me off like that. I don’t understand it.”
Britney went on to claim that she used to have the boys “way more” than Kevin at “one point”.
“People don’t remember that part because they always focus on the negative. But from when they were six to nine years old, I had them 70 per cent of the time,” the 40-year-old continued.
Elsewhere in the clip, Britney shot down claims that she was using social media to get attention.
“With my kids now making the claims that she’s not good enough, she wants attention. Yeah, I do want to be heard and I’m angry. And I kind of want to subconsciously offend people because I’ve been so f**king offended,” she said, before concluding with an apology directed at her boys. “All I know is that my love for my children is more than anything and I’m sorry if I ever hurt you guys in any way. I was told you guys have blocked me. But I will speak here… I’m so blessed to even call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologise.”
Britney and Kevin, 44, were married from 2004 until their divorce was finalised in 2007.