Well, the good news is that itâs no âGigli.â
Jennifer Lopezâs much-anticipated new album âThis Is Me⦠Nowâ â the sequel to 2002âs âThis Is Me⦠Then,â which drops on Friday â once again revolves around her Hollywood love affair with âGigliâ co-star Ben Affleck.
But just like that much-maligned romantic comedy did in 2003, Lopezâs first studio album in 10 years â since 2014âs âA.K.A.â â proves yet again that sometimes art and amor just donât mix.
First off, like most sequels, it pales compared to the original.
While it was hardly Janet Jacksonâs âThe Velvet Rope,â Rihannaâs âAntiâ or Beyoncéâs anything, âThis Is Me⦠Thenâ was probably J.Loâs most âartisticâ album.
Yes, it had two hit hip-pop bops in âJenny from the Blockâ â which infamously featured Affleck in its video â and the lip-licking LL Cool J collab âAll I Have.â But Lopezâs third studio LP also found the singer-actress digging for more emotional depth than she had shown on either 1999âs âOn the 6â or 2001âs âJ.Lo.â
But you know what? âOn the 6â and âJ.Loâ were ultimately better albums because Lopez played to her strengths with booty-shaking beats â the better to hoof it up in some killer couture â rather than heart-tugging feels.
And âThis Is Me⦠Nowâ leans even more into J.Lover rather than J.Lo.
While the first single, âCanât Get Enoughâ â another hip-pop bop that samples Alton Ellisâ â60s reggae classic âIâm Still in Love with Youâ while nodding to Marcia Aitkenâs 1977 version of the songâ wouldâve been a hit 20 years ago, the rest of Lopezâs ninth studio album finds the Bronx-born diva stuck in a romantic rut.Â
Now that she has finally found her happy ending after marrying Affleck in 2022 â 18 years after they called off their first engagement in 2004 â sheâs lost the plot of what makes her J-to-the-Lo.
Although all the spotlight on Bennifer broke them up the first time around, Lopez doubles down on the PDA as Mrs. Affleck on âThis Is Me⦠Now.â
âWhen I was a girl, theyâd asked me what Iâd be/A woman in love is what I grew up wanting to be,â she sings on the title-tune opener, one of the midtempo tracks that blur into one another.
Itâs enough to make you want Pitbull to show up for some âOn the Floor Pt. IIâ
As savvy a businesswoman as Lopez is, how she ever thought the public would want an album of all slow to midtempo love songs from her is beyond me.Â
Even Adele â with all of her emotive vocal powers â couldnât have pulled this one off.
Maybe itâs a concession to being 54 now, but itâs hard to imagine even Affleck making it all the way through to the cringe closer âGreatest Love Story Never Told,â the Latin-laced ode to their love that closes the LP.
Let alone the fact that he would have already had to endure âDear Ben Pt. IIâ â the sequel to âDear Benâ from âThis Is Me⦠Thenâ that nobody wanted, which arrives midway through Lopezâs new LP.
But by then, itâs more like, âDear God.â