Many years ago, we broke to you the very important news that the Super Smash Brothers competitor known as “Princess Daisy” is either a vile impostor planted by the Master Hand or someone who’s always had a probably third eye on the back of her head. We don’t know why it is there because the few who do find out tend to vanish under mysterious circumstances, but we can assure you it’s there. Please don’t go spying on her because you should know she’ll totally see you coming. Now, over a decade after the piece of news took the Mushroom Kingdom by storm, we finally have an update, and boy, oh boy, is it so much worse than before.
Nintendo
You see, back in the day, this was the clearest we were able to see into her situation.
Nintendo
But Mariotech has evolved, and hackers have since been able to make use of the advancements to come up with gadgets capable of finding out what the hell is up with Daisy. First, they did an X-ray scan on her that brought about, let’s say, concerning results.
Nintendo
They then made the mistake of simply not accepting right there and then that technology is the devil and decided to use a second and even more advanced gadget to carefully rip out all of her hair. Underneath, they found not just more eyes, but more eyes in shapes eyes don’t usually come in.
Nintendo
On top of us still not knowing the why, we also don’t know whether she’s always been like that, or if that’s the result of an unchecked condition. Gamers, this is the sign you need to give your physician a call in case you spot one or a few more extra eyes when you turn your back against a mirror. Mushroom Kingdom News will get back to you in 2033 to reveal how just gracefully princess Daisy has aged.
Sony, From Software
Top Image: Nintendo
Related: What’s The Deal With The Master Hand From ‘Smash Bros.’?
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