Become A Stew
Both of these first two tips focus on feeding, but different forms of the verb. Where before you were consuming, in this form, you are the one to take that ancient heroic plunge: that of being consumed. What better way to celebrate the season of hearty home-cooked meals than to climb into a cauldron yourself, stir around your bits with a large wooden spoon, and slowly dissolve into a rib-sticking stew?
Simply heat up your cast-iron cauldron full of water, pull a table full of fall veggies to your side, and climb in. Feel that steaming hot water slowly relax, loosen, and tenderize your muscles while you whistle and work on your mise-en-place. Slice a variety of your vegetables of choice into the water between your legs, sprinkle in a handful of spices that complement your own personal flavor, and slowly become a meal for the village. Not only will you be remembered, but you’ll provide your neighbors with valuable energy for the harvest. PRO TIP: to save your peers some pain, shave yourself completely bald before cooking.