Halsey has admitted in a candid social media post that she often wonders if she “chose the wrong life” for herself.
In a reflective post on Instagram Stories on Wednesday, the Without Me singer, who uses she/they pronouns, admitted they felt “a deep sadness” and wondered if they had made the right choice in pursuing a music career.
“I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch. a loneliness. an emptiness,” Halsey wrote beside a picture of burning candles. “I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing.”
The star, who suffers from bipolar disorder, indicated that her upcoming 28th birthday on 29 September has prompted her moment of reflection.
“I am approaching my 28th birthday in a week and just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18. A breath that was meant to sustain me for a decade,” they wrote.
Halsey added that she has been “wandering lawlessly” and hopes to find her path “somewhere meaningful soon” because she wants to give her fans her usual brave and fierce music but fears her guts are “shriveling lately”.
They concluded their post by writing, “If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love.”