In addition to whatever new show I’m watching (currently the absolutely wonderful The Apothecary Diaries), I always like to throw something older into the rotation, typically to watch when I fold laundry or take lunch breaks. Usually, it’s Criminal Minds. But sometimes it’s a new-to-me show that I’m catching up on, and sometimes it’s a rewatch of something I know I love. This year, I accidentally set myself up for the best timing possible.
I started rewatching my beloved Frasier earlier this year — and it’s been perfectly timed so that some of my favorite romance-heavy episodes surrounding the main couple are falling on Valentine’s Day week. I feel the love in the air, giggling and clutching my couch plushies as the pair stay up late for some crash-course dance lessons to prepare for a gala.
Even if you haven’t seen Frasier, you probably know the basic shtick: Kelsey Grammer plays a snobby psychiatrist/radio talk show host and everyone around him rolls their eyes, sometimes even his equally snobbish brother Niles (David Hyde Pierce). What’s making my heart go pitter-patter isn’t anything to do with Fraiser, though: I’m here for Niles and his relationship with Daphne (Jane Leeves), his father’s eccentric live-in health care worker.
From the first time Niles meets Daphne, in the show’s third episode, he’s smitten with her. She’s generally oblivious to his affections. And for two and a half seasons, this crush is mostly just a gag in the background. Niles is, after all, married (it’s not a happy or healthy marriage, but he is married). But halfway through the third season, there’s a notable shift: Niles gets the backbone to actually separate from his emotionally distant and domineering wife.
For the first time, there’s a tangible possibility that these two could get together. And a lesser sitcom might shove them into an ill-advised hook-up to immediately get them together. But Frasier is no such sitcom. The show successfully manages to draw out Niles and Daphne’s romance for over seven seasons, without making it feel annoying or tired.
As an avid sitcom lover, I am well aware that stringing a romantic couple along for almost eight seasons of will-they-or-won’t-they is a hallmark of the genre. But unlike lesser sitcom couples ([cough] J.D. and Elliot in Scrubs [cough]), Niles and Daphne’s relationship isn’t marred by a series of increasingly frustrating misunderstandings and seasonal break-ups that undermine their connection. Instead, it’s a case of unrequited pining and bad timing, built on a connection that goes from acquaintances to deep friendship. That makes their relationship evolve naturally, so that the eventual romance feels earned and not just shoehorned in. They genuinely always care about each other.
Image: Paramount Pictures
It would be so easy for Niles to come off as creepy or desperate: He is pining after a woman who works for his brother and who hasn’t shown him any romantic interest, after all. But even though he’s rendered speechless by her pretty dresses and loves the smell of her hair, he’s always thinking of her best interests. Ultimately, he always does the right thing by her, be it encouraging her to go on a date with someone else or giving her the space to heal her own broken heart.
In an episode that is up next in my rewatch, Daphne breaks up with her boyfriend while Niles is separated from his wife. They both meet other people at a singles’ bar (with Daphne’s date bearing a striking resemblance to Niles), but those two people end up getting together. Daphne mopes at the bar, and Niles comes to comfort her. They talk about their respective love lives, and it becomes evident that even if they both do have feelings for each other, the timing is terrible. Still, Niles cheers her up, and Daphne smiles and says, “Oh, I love ya, Dr. Crane.” And Pierce displays remarkable control in his performance as he chokes back any other emotion he might have and casually says, “I love you, too, Daphne.”
I’ve seen this show. I know that, eventually, right when Niles gets over Daphne, she realizes she’s into him, and then there’s a whole extra layer of seemingly unrequited pining, before they finally, finally get together. I’ve watched enough sitcoms to know that two lead characters with an up-and-down romantic relationship will most likely get together at the end of a show. But that scene still breaks my damn heart every time!
So many sitcom couples rely on agonizing misunderstandings, lifestyle clashes, and fundamental personality misalignments to make the tension last. And by the time the couples actually get together (for real), I can’t even be happy, because I’m concerned about how the heck their relationship is going to hold up. (Seriously, was anyone rooting for Ted and Robin in How I Met Your Mother?) But the Frasier showrunners understood that sometimes, the best tension comes from outside circumstances… and the fact that the characters care about each other so much that they’re willing to let the other be happy without them. Now, that’s something to dig your teeth into on Valentine’s Day.