Bringing a hostess gift is an unspoken rule about dinner parties—especially around the holidays. Etiquette aside, a gift is a sincere way to show your gratitude and also to acknowledge the time and effort the host put into organizing the evening. Who knows, it might even score you an invite to their next soirée. And the gift doesn’t have to be big or expensive either, according to cookbook author and entertainer extraordinaire Ina Garten. However, there are a few cliché items you might want to steer away from, she warns.
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When it comes to hostess gifts, Garten has a particular list of do’s and don’ts. The professional cook shared her rule of thumb while speaking to fans at an event, which was captured by Instagrammer @pastrywithjenn.
As for what not to bring, Garten revealed that the worst possible gift is “something the hostess feels like they need to serve.”
For instance, you’ll never catch the Barefoot Contessa arriving at an event with a bottle of wine in hand.
“I don’t bring wine because they feel like they should serve it with a meal,” she explained. Plus, you run the risk of bringing the wrong kind of bottle—what if they don’t drink red, or dislike the taste of dry white wine?
Additionally, Garten refrains from bringing “a particular course,” whether that’s a starter dish or dessert. “I wouldn’t bring cheese because they feel like they need to serve the cheese with the dinner,” she continued.
Instead, she’s bringing things the hostess can enjoy after the party or the following morning.
“I bring things like homemade granola. I bring good coffee. I’ll bring chocolates, like maybe Fran’s caramels…I’ll bring good tea,” she said. “You know, something that they’ll enjoy another time.”
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On her Barefoot Contessa website, Garten said she prefers to bring “something homemade.” In the past, she has baked Jam Thumbprint Cookies, Cherry Pistachio Biscottis or French Chocolate Bark, to give to party throwers. Each host gets a mini bag of sweet treats wrapped in a festive bow.
Last year, Garten shared her Salted Caramel Nuts recipe, which she dubbed “a great hostess gift.” The sweet and salty snack takes about 40 minutes to make, including prep time.
“When you’re going to holiday parties, Salted Caramel Nuts are a great hostess gift. You can make a big batch, allow them to cool completely, and pack them in striped bags!” she wrote on Instagram alongside a video tutorial.
Based on Garten’s rule of thumb, as long as you’re bringing something that’s homemade or sentimental to the host, anything is better than something that feels obligatory.