To my great disappointment, my parents understood both video game and movie ratings, so M and R rated things were completely off the table until I was 17. As for music, that “explicit content” sticker didn’t go unnoticed either. Some bands, though, especially in the world of metal, would have not only gone back on the shelf, no sticker needed, but probably gotten me grounded for even making my parents read their name.
Here are five metal band names that will send Boomers to their stern letter writing desk. And just to keep it grounded, every one of these bands is an actual band that metalheads would be able to recognize, not just me trolling Bandcamp for names that make the elderly mildly ill.
Cannibal Corpse
Cannibal Corpse are pioneers in both death metal and creating T-shirts that would get you sent home from high school. Is the corpse the cannibal, like a zombie situation? Is it a corpse that’s in the process of being eaten by cannibals? Is it just the intersection of an appreciation for alliteration and gore in equal measure?
However they got there, this CD is mysteriously disappearing from your car after you give your mom a ride. Weirdly enough, you may have heard Cannibal Corpse before even if you didn’t realize it — in the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
Cattle Decapitation
To create vivid imagery in writing requires specifics. James Bond ordering “a martini, shaken, not stirred” is iconic, “a martini” is nothing but fluff. In the same way, you have what would be a perfectly acceptable death metal band name in “Decapitation,” but by adding “Cattle” before it, suddenly you’re forcing someone to visualize a very unpleasant motion and consequence. Even if it’s something that’s behind every burger we eat, we’ve all agreed not to mention it in polite company.
Which is maybe the point, given that the band is famously vegetarian.
Rotting Christ
People have, as a whole, become much less religious over my lifetime. There was a time where Dungeons & Dragons was considered Satanism-adjacent, and not the base for a theatrical blockbuster. The Beatles were globally condemned for saying they were “bigger than Jesus,” so I can’t imagine those same people would take kindly to a metal band evoking not just the Son of God, but his decaying corpse, for their discography.
I’d argue it’s a pretty effective form of gatekeeping, in that if you’re intrigued by the name, they’re probably putting out the kind of riffs you enjoy.
Infant Annihilator
I’d add a content warning for this music video, but if you need one, you must have an almost superhuman ability to ignore context. Unsurprisingly, the videos for a band named for the last thing a militant protester screams outside a Planned Parenthood before the FBI take him away for questioning aren’t exactly PG-13. Of course, the over-the-top name is part of the bit, and some of their other music videos make that perfectly clear. Still, explaining to your dad that they’re joking isn’t going to stop him from stomping your Discman.
A.C.
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Ivm not even really sure I’m allowed to type this without talking to HR, so I’ll leave you to discover what makes up that acronym for yourself. All I’ll say is that they’re both words for different holes, and it sort of sounds like “Able Bunt.”