“I did everything in my power to help my mom get sober but sadly my mom couldn’t ever escape her addiction,” Lourd shares in an emotional post, adding, “60 is too damn young to die.”
Billie Lourd has paid tribute to her late mother, Carrie Fisher.
On what would have been her mother’s 68th birthday, Lourd shared an old photo of the duo at an earlier birthday for the Star Wars icon.
“Dead person birthdays are weird to say the least,” Lourd wrote on Instagram on Monday.
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“On my mom’s birthday every year, I try to celebrate her as much as possible, but today I really wanted to celebrate her with her. Some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of her love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb but today when I woke up I just felt sad. I didn’t want to celebrate, I just wanted my mom.”
Fisher died on Dec. 27, 2016, at the age of 60.
The 32-year-old revealed that the sadness she woke up with led her to Google “average death age women,” which is listed at 80.2 years.
“(oohhh what a fun google billie!!! I promise the rest of my google search history has a sliightly more fun vibe?!) and google said it was 80.2. My mom died when she was 60. 60 is too damn young to die,” Lourd stressed in her caption.
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The Booksmart actress also shared her next Google search related to her mother’s death, before expressing her struggles to help get her mother sober.
“I then googled drug overdose deaths (another fun morning google!!!) and it is over 100 thousand people per year. I did everything in my power to help my mom get sober but sadly my mom couldn’t ever escape her addiction. But while she was alive she always shared the ups and downs of that struggle with others in hopes it would help them escape their own addiction,” Lourd continued.
Her emotional caption concluded with a message to those struggling with addiction and those who are around anyone struggling with it.
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“As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way through. And same goes for those of us affected by that struggle. Sending my love to anyone out there who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone. ❤️”
On Dec. 27, 2016, Fisher died after suffering a heart attack on a flight to Los Angeles. She was 60. Just a day later, Fisher’s mother Debbie Reynolds died of a stroke at age 84.
An autopsy concluded that Fisher had traces of cocaine, heroin and MDMA in her system at the time of her death.
Lourd starred opposite her mother in the 2017 film Star Wars: The Last Jedi. She played Lieutenant Connix while Fisher played Princess Leia.