Would-Be Groom Reeling After Girlfriend Gives Back Ring Hours After Proposal for Surprise Reason

The man details the proposal itself, which was met with the kind of delight you might expect, as well as his girlfriend saying, “Yes.” But all of that changed in pretty short order, and by the end of the day, everything had changed.

Now, OP (“Original Poster”) is not sure how to move forward … or even if he should.

Read on to find out what happened and how it went so wrong for the would-be groom.

Things started off easily enough for the 31-year-old man while on holiday with his 34-year-old girlfriend of two years. He explained in his post that he proposed “in the morning on our balcony with a great view.” He further explained that she’d picked out her own ring 2 months prior, “so she knew it was coming.”

OP continued, “So I got on one knee, asked her to marry me and she was delighted and said yes. We then sat down and had breakfast on the balcony that I made.”

And everything was great … for about 10 minutes.

It was then, OP wrote, “she asked me when did I go see her mother about it (father not in her life, mother lives 3 hour drive away).” He explained to her that he “didn’t get an opportunity to visit in person, the ring only arrived a few days before the holiday.”

Instead, OP explained, “I called her and asked for her blessing over the phone which her mother gave.” And here’s where it all fell apart.

“This then led to my girlfriend to spend the rest of the day hysterically crying and giving out to me, [which OP defined in the comments for readers: “as in to complain or berate”] saying I should have met her mother in person (just to be fair, she did mention I do it in person before) but it was so bad she ended up giving me the ring back and said to do it again another time,” he wrote.

OP added that this continued for the next few days with her “crying and giving out to me basically for not doing it right.” It left him wondering, “how can we not be engaged over what is to me a minor issue. And to be honest I’m really thinking about telling her I don’t think I can propose again, which I know she would leave me as she is obsessed with getting married.”

In summing up his feelings, OP admitted to feeling “embarrassed,” but also “very hurt that having a perfect proposal supersedes being engaged to me?”

There was definitely a contingency of Redditors who saw this as a massive red flag, with the most upvoted comment (with more than 1.3K of them) simplifying their stance, “Crying for DAYS over you not asking her mother for her blessing in person?? I’d run fast and far.” Another echoed the sentiment, writing, “Dude is a prop for her marriage fantasy. He needs to run fast.”

One Redditor warned, “You should be careful with women who are obsessed with getting married because most of the time they want a wedding, not the husband or to become a wife, a mother.”

OP jumped in to share, “Funnily enough, I often joked with her saying she’s only interested in getting married and any man on the day could show up and she’d say I do. Because after only 9 months of dating she told me she was ready to marry but I told her I wasn’t and she said she’d respect my feelings about it.”‘

He also shared that she has since apologized and told him she’s not rejecting the proposal — it’s still a yes — but “it was done wrong and to do it again” and “to ask her mother in person.” OP thinks she’s realizing the relationship might end over this “and is giving me hints to propose again soon.”

“I would PROPOSE your gf goes to therapy,” wrote one Redditor, to which another added, “Don’t get married any time soon until her ability to control her emotions and reactions is dealt with and you can see she is actively trying to change and improve.”

Another wondered if this issue is a dealbreaker on being engaged, “What else is she going to flip out over?” They then added, “I’m exhausted just reading about her.” Another continued this train of thought, writing, “Imagine planning a wedding with such a person! This def. gives me the: “Everything has to be perfect like in a fairy tale! Everything.”

“I’ll bet she complained about her eggs too,” commented one person.

OP defended his girlfriend in the comments, saying she’s generally not controlling at all, which is why this surprised him. At the same time, he said she’s been impatient in their home building process and gets “quite emotional and would get upset” seeing other couples get married, have kids, and buy houses.

Still other commenters noted the girlfriend’s age, with one writing, “But at 34 years of age, this seems like an excessive reaction.” Another agreed, commenting, “My first instinct was “this lady isn’t anywhere near mature enough to be getting married” and then I went back and double checked the ages and was surprised she isn’t a decade younger than that.”

A few of them suggested he go with that instinct that was starting to kick in toward the end of his post. “Ooof. If I was in this position there would not be a 2nd proposal ever,” commented one.

Another Redditor expanded their thoughts on the matter, writing, “Yeah, that would be it for me. I can understand wanting certain things ‘just because that’s how it’s supposed to go’ but this is some performative circus bulls—. I’d let her know I’m rethinking proposing at all if this is her reaction, then I would just wait until something better came along.”

They went on to emphasize, “Just being totally real here, this is a major red flag for someone who will yank your chain when she feels she has the power to. In any way shape form or fashion because ‘she didn’t like it, do it over.’ DELULU.”

“Something better has already come along,” countered another user. “The tantrum free life OP knew before this person. I do agree, I wouldn’t keep dating and draw this out. I’d end it and pursue freedom and peace.”

What do you think?