Woman Called ‘Ungrateful B—h’ for Telling Sister to ‘F–k Right Off’ with Engaged-in-4-Years-or-Break-Up Rule

The 27-year-old shared her story on Reddit’s AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum to see if she was in the right after telling her sister to “f–k right off” after her sibling continuously called her long-term relationship “BS” because it didn’t follow her own relationship rule.

The OP (a.k.a “original poster”) explained how her sister’s strict adherence to this made-up rule has impacted all of her relationships, before recalling how her older sibling’s years of trying to push this stance on OP’s relationship resulted in her finally reaching her breaking point.

Read on to see what went down, and how Redditors reacted.

“My older sister Izzie (31f) and I (27f) are very different when it comes to relationships and view of relationships,” OP began. “Izzie believes in the whole 4 year rule, where if you’re with a dude for 4 years and he hasn’t proposed to you, he never will, he’s not serious about you and he’s a walking red flag.”

She added her sister “broke up with her HS sweetheart at 21 because he didn’t propose after 5 years together, and she talked about giving him an extra year since they were both in college. That was the only reason. She said she’ll always love him and wish they had worked out.”

“She broke up with her next partner after 3.5 years because he showed no signs of wanting to get married yet and she broke up with another guy just a few months ago because he told her that’s BS and there is no right timeline for marriage and kids unless you’re really rushing,” she continued.

The woman added that her sister “talks about this s–t non-stop,” explaining, and “she tells people to break up with their partners because the other hasn’t proposed.” According to OP, her sister “truly believes a relationship is at the end of the line after 4 years of no proposal.”

OP has told her sister she doesn’t believe that. In fact, she shared she “committed the great sin of having two children with my long term partner/boyfriend of 12 years. But we’re not engaged, we do live together and we live like we’re married in ways. But neither of us is in a great hurry to get married.”

She explained she doesn’t feel the “need to be married” and she’s “fine without it” and “happy.” However, OP said Izzie “always calls it BS and she told me I can’t be happy with a guy who’ll knock me up but not give me his last name. I told her I don’t want his last name. And did she ever think he might want mine some day.”

“It got worse when we announced I was expecting again,” OP continued. Her second child was born last month, and she says her sister kept “questioning my boyfriend on why not propose, why he was using me, how many baby mamas does he really have.”

She wrote that her boyfriend “fired back that our relationship is more stable and happy than hers were because of her stupid rules of engagement and marriage. I told her to leave for insulting my boyfriend.”

OP said the situation recently took a turn for the worse, and she finally snapped.

“A few days ago I was picking something up from my dad, Izzie was there,” she recalled. “She accused me of being dumb and naive and of ruining my life by accepting a relationship he clearly doesn’t want and she told me why her 4 year rule makes sense and I lost it.”

“I told her to f–k right off and keep her opinions to herself because I don’t want to hear them all the time,” wrote the woman.

“Izzie said I didn’t need to be rude and should be more open to what she’s saying because she’s only trying to help me and support me like sisters are supposed to,” she added. “Then she said I’m just an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t appreciate love and support.”

So now OP is asking, “AITA for telling my sister to f–k right off and keep her opinions to herself?”

People online rallied behind the anonymous poster, with the majority of users appearing to take her side, labeling her NTA (“Not the A–hole”). While many Redditors supported OP, they slammed and criticized her older sister for her views on relationships, and specifically OP’s.

“Your sister sounds like she heard that bad advice somewhere and when it didn’t work out by the second time in her 20’s she started getting desperate and jealous of everyone who was still in a relationship,” a user wrote in the most popular comment, which received over 2,000 upvotes. “Some introspection would do her good,”

“There’s a few people online (I’ve seen it on two social media platforms) where this same advice/outlook on relationships is shared,” OP replied. “My sister is clearly soaking all this up. And my sister is more generous than some of them. 2 years and engaged or breakup is the limit for some. To me it makes no sense to treat all relationships the same.”

While one user said Izzie was “being obnoxious” with her “outdated” views, she told OP her sister “is in fact 100% right, as far as her own situation is concerned” and OP shouldn’t judge her sister’s “choices by your own standards,” referring to OP getting involved with her significant other at 15 and not caring about marriage.

This commenter argued that OP’s sister’s timeframe is “reasonable” now, considering she’s 31 years old and wants to be married and, “presumably, have a traditional family.”

OP argued that her problem with her sister isn’t really about her views as they relate to her own relationships. “Look, I don’t really care about her beliefs on marriage timelines and stuff,” she replied to the Redditor. “Not really.”

“But like you said she has been obnoxious about it. She judges me and my relationship based on it, like she does all relationships she sees,” OP continued. “After all this time though and knowing she has regrets based on her 4 year rule thing, I do judge because why can’t she just focus on herself instead of me. I don’t ever bring this up. She does.”

Meanwhile, in another response to a since-deleted comment, OP shared, “I’m happy but hearing constantly that I am f–king up my life by not breaking up with my boyfriend, hearing that I’m being used, that I’m naive and dumb. It’s old. It’s annoying. I’m tired of it. And being nice didn’t stop her so maybe telling her to f–k off will. That’s the point I reached.”

One Redditor replied, “lol your sister is a nutjob, expecting young men to immediately grow up and be ready for marriage. There really is no timeline for marriage. Happy to hear it’s working out for you but you might want to stay away from your sister as your body readjusts post partum.”

Another user also slammed OP’s sister, writing, “How terribly arrogant to think that marriage is something every woman aspires to! And how naïve. OH and I have been together over 25 years now, not married, no intention to, own a house together, our dog is at the centre of our lives. What could marriage possibly add to that that I’d want?”

In another comment, a Redditor accused Izzie of “harassment” and “bullying,” claiming she’s being “hypocritical” to OP.

“So Izzies philosophy is ‘Dont be rude, be open to her way of thinking and sisters support each other’ Well that works both ways,” the user wrote. “She doesn’t listen to OPs wishes. Is rude for not respecting OPs relationship and doesn’t support OPs right to have a relationship that doesn’t align with her 4 year rule.”

“Izzie can navigate her own life and relationships, but she cannot dictate how others choose to live theirs,” they continued. “That’s harassment and straight up bullying. Izzy calling OP an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t appreciate love and support, is hypocritical to say the least.”

What do you think?